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“I’m a father,” I correct her.
“And a damn good one. She’s lucky to have you.”
“Anyway, Cassie was here dropping Blake off for my weekend. Boyd called. He was drunk. He was ranting and raving and told her to meet him at home. I hated my daughter being there with him. I remember being thankful that it was my weekend with Blake. Cassie left to pick him up. He was at a buddy’s house just outside of Willow River. She never made it. A drunk driver hit her.”
“Oh my god,” she breathes. I look up to find tears in her eyes, this time for my little girl and me and the mother she will never know.
I take a deep breath and keep going. I need to finish this. “It was Boyd. The drunk driver that hit her was Boyd. He took Blake’s mom from her.”
“I don’t even know what to say,” she confesses.
“I’ve never told anyone that story who I wasn’t related to.”
“Thank you for trusting me.”
“It’s a small town. Everyone knew, but I never talk about it. I was too busy trying to be mom and dad to a little girl who was robbed of the chance of knowing an incredible woman.”
“I’m so sorry for your loss. What happened was tragic, but, Declan, I need you to hear me when I say that I’m an outsider looking in, and you’re an incredible father. Blakely is happy and healthy, and that’s because of you. You are giving her everything that she needs.”
“Thanks. Okay, that turn was longer than I imagined. Your turn.”
She smiles and begins to tell me her own story.
CHAPTER
NINE
Kennedy
Declan traces his thumb over my wrist. The movement is soothing. I feel like such a failure as a woman, and I don’t like to talk about my divorce and what led up to it. However, after he gave me his history, it’s only fair that I give him mine too.
“Lyle never wanted children. Sometimes I think that’s why he asked me to marry him. He thought it was the perfect scenario. Anytime I brought it up before the wedding, he would always say he just wanted some time with me and that we would talk about our options when we were ready. I was ready, and he wasn’t.”
“He doesn’t know what he’s missing. Being a dad is the hardest yet most rewarding thing I’ve ever done in my entire life.”
I smile at that. Everything about Declan is the opposite of my ex-husband. “About a year ago, I brought it up, and he blew me off. I kept bringing it up until one day, a few months later, he decided we needed a break. He moved out.”
“Damn,” he mutters.
“We talked on the phone, texted a lot, but he wasn’t budging, and neither was I. I might not be able to get pregnant, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a little boy or little girl out there who doesn’t need a mommy.” Hot tears prick my eyes, but I blink them away. “I was open to anything. Adoption, surrogacy, IVF, even fostering, but Lyle wanted no part of it. We decided mutually that divorce was our next course of action. I wasn’t willing to give up my dream of one day being a mother, even if it wasn’t the conventional way. He wasn’t willing to budge either. He didn’t want kids. There was no changing his mind.”
“I’m sorry. He’s an idiot.”
I laugh at that. “He’s settled on what he wants out of life, and sadly, that doesn’t include me, but I’m okay with it. When we made the decision to divorce, I was sad, but I wasn't torn up about it, you know? I was okay. I’m young. Twenty-five. I still have a chance to be a mom, even if I have to do it on my own.”
“Kens.” His voice is low and deep. He waits until I give him my eyes. “He didn’t deserve you. I feel sorry for him because he doesn’t know what he’s missing. Sure, kids are a lot of work, and you give up a lot of yourself for them, but I wouldn’t change it. I wish Cassie could be here every day. Not because we’d be together, that’s just not who we were. But I do wish that she could be here for our little girl and to see her grow up. The way Blakely came into my life wasn’t conventional, but given a chance, I wouldn’t change anything except for stopping Cassie from going after Boyd that night.”
“I don’t begrudge him what he wants, you know? I just wish I had seen it all sooner. I was young and wrapped up in the fairy tale.”
“The fairy tale he didn’t give you.”
“He’s out there,” I tell him, forcing a smile. “My prince charming is out there, and one day, I’ll be a mom.”
