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“Like I’m beautiful. I feel sexy with your eyes on me. It’s more than that, though,” she rambles. Her voice is soft, almost hesitant, but that doesn’t stop her from telling me exactly how my look makes her feel.
“I feel wanted, Declan. I’ve never felt more wanted, more cherished than I do than when I’m with you.”
My hands move to the waistband of my jeans and I release the button. I shove them and my boxer briefs to the floor in one quick motion before standing and striding toward her. The dim glow of the lamp is enough to memorize every inch of her. Not that I haven’t already, but tonight is different from all the times before. She knows that I’m in love with her, and she’s letting me inside her.
This is definitely a night I’ll always remember.
“Good. That’s what I want you to feel when you’re with me and even when you’re not. I want you to know without a shadow of a doubt that your place in this life is with me. However, you did forget something.” My hands slide around her, allowing me the freedom to trace my fingertips over her spine before releasing the clasp of her bra. I take my time sliding the straps over her shoulders before letting them fall to the floor.
“W-What did I forget?” she asks, as my lips trail softly over her collarbone and up her neck until I reach her ear.
“Love, baby. You forgot, love. I want you to feel loved every second of every day. I want you to feel my love no matter where you are.” There’s a real possibility with her refusing to talk about staying that she might be driving away from me, and no matter where she is, I know deep in my soul that I’ll always love her. I need her to know that.
“I feel it,” she replies softly. Her nails dig into my back, and my hard cock presses against her belly.
“Now,” I say, kissing the corner of her mouth. “Let me show you.”
Without having to ask her, she removes her panties and crawls onto the bed. Her hair is fanned out over the pillow. She’s a vision. My heart thumps against my chest as I think about the possibility of losing her. I’m trying to show her my heart. Fuck me, I’ve handed it to her to do as she wishes. I just hope that it’s enough.
Reaching into the bedside table, I grab the unopened box of condoms. I threw the old unopened box away. They were expired. I guess there’s another confession I need to release tonight. “I should warn you,” I tell her. Her hooded eyes watch me intently. “This is going to be fast.”
“Are you going to explain that?” she asks. She knows me well enough that there is a story behind my declaration.
“I haven’t been with anyone since Cassie. Not since the night we conceived Blakely. It was a drunken mistake with my best friend. That night gave me my daughter, and I will never regret her. However, I promised to focus on her. Then we lost Cassie, and I was doing it on my own. Thank God for my brothers and my parents.”
“You’ve dated. You told me about them.”
“Yeah, but none of them were someone I could see spending my life with. Sex leads to babies, and babies lead to a lifetime with that person. While Cassie was my best friend, I got lucky there, but I wasn’t willing to risk it with some random woman.”
“Well.” Her body grows stiff. “You don’t have to worry about that with me.” She looks to my hands, where I still hold the unopened box of condoms. “We don’t even need those. It’s not possible for me, remember?”
“Fuck.” Tossing the condoms down on the bed, I move to lie next to her. My hand rests gently against her cheek to pull her eyes to mine. “That’s not what I meant, and you damn well know it. I was giving you a piece of me, Kennedy. A piece I’ve refused to give to anyone else since the moment I drunkenly slept with my best friend almost six years ago.”
“I get it.”
“No, baby, I don’t think that you do. I was trying to tell you that I’m more than likely going to come within a handful of minutes of sliding inside you if I last that long. It’s been too long, and I want this with you. Only with you. And these” I reach behind me and grab the box of condoms. “will protect you. I’ll always protect you, Kennedy. When we’re ready to talk about another baby, we can toss them and try our luck. They told you it was highly unlikely, but we’ll try.”
“I don’t think we’ll have to worry about that,” she says sadly.
