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“I’m not certain how this plan of yours to care for the puppy will work. My father asked me to stay far away from you—and Douglas ranch.”
That was new. Bodey had treated him well after he’d put himself in the path of flying debris from a bomb set to kill his family. What more could the man want from him to prove Kent had no designs on his land? “He has never said anything of the sort to me.”
“He said it to me.” She huffed her response with indignation so biting, if directed at anyone else, he’d have laughed at them for having to deal with it.
“I think he will be agreeable if it means his daughter’s puppy will live.”
“And you think I’m incapable? I’ve taken care of lambs since I was no taller than a wagon wheel. I doubt this puppy, if he’s strong enough to survive, will be any different.” She crossed her arms and glanced away from him, but he heard the slight tremor in her voice, that hint of her unsure past. The drawing room may have only been five years past, but that’s where she’d done the majority of her growing, not the barn.
“I meant no disrespect at all. You know me better than that, Alice.”
She flinched as her name escaped his lips, the pain burning through him like an arrow to his soul. He’d hurt her grievously. More than her little pique with him the day before. More than she was letting on now. Perhaps her drawing room rearing was more of a benefit than he’d accounted for. That very thing was keeping her talking to him in a civilized manner.
“I know you can feed the puppy and his care will fall mainly to you, though I hope your dog takes him in.” If she did, he would have little to worry about. A good mother cured many ills.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that even if she doesn’t, we will care for the puppy.” Alice spun in her seat then, her knees pressing against his to turn and look at the pathetically weak little creature nestled in the back. “Do you think he’s all right back there?”
He switched the lead lines briefly to one hand—it wasn’t like the team didn’t know the way home without him—and gently turned Alice back to face where they were headed. Her touch made concentrating on the drive all but impossible. “I do. I gave him a soft bed and I’m avoiding the ruts as best I can.”
Her chin dipped slightly. “It’s just that I can’t stop from caring. What if he doesn’t make it? What if I have to bring Hannah the news that the dog she’s cared for was too far gone and even though I tried my best . . . he just wasn’t strong enough?”
He swallowed, seeing the parallel in what he’d done to her. He’d nursed her affections for him before he’d left. They’d spent every available moment together before he’d decided enough was enough with his father and he wanted his education. Had she fostered hope for the survival of his promise all this time? Her words the day before had made him think that wasn’t the case, but was she giving him a hint into her heart by way of the puppy?
“I don’t think that will be the case, but any bad news will be carried by me, not you. You needn’t worry about those things.”
“I ‘needn’t worry’ about a lot of things, but I do anyway.” She turned her face from him again. “I was told my entire life not to concern myself with the sheep or what my brothers were doing all day. I was told they would take care of all that for me and it wasn’t my burden to bear. They were wrong. Until someone knows, truly knows, the heart of the ranch, they can’t appreciate it or what comes of it. The meals become tasteless if you never understand the work that goes into making them. The wool becomes scratchy if you never understand the time it takes to apply lanoline and the work of spinning it.”
He flicked the lines over the horse’s back. As the tension grew, he wanted to get her home. If she told him any more, he might break his own vow and admit his desires and heart to assuage her broken one. “Work does give one an appreciation for things.”
“Work makes one care,” she muttered. “Despite the fact that there are days and times and things I’d prefer to never care about again.”
Her words hit him like flaming arrows.Like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death is one who deceives their neighbor and says, “I was only joking!”At least he took comfort in knowing her arrows were in response to his. He’d been the one to encourage a relationship between them. He’d been the one to ask her to search her heart for a place he could rest and to wait for him until he’d returned. And now he found himself in the awful position of saying without words that he was the maniac, insinuating that all he’d said was a mere joke.
And the joke was on her.
He hung his head and took a deep breath, knowing that he needed to make amends for what he’d done. “Alice. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. When I begged you to care for me, I never dreamed how it would hurt you.”
He hadn’t thought it possible for her spine to get any straighter, yet she proved him wrong. Her head swung toward him and her eyes blazed like she was ready to slap him. He’d deserve it if she did.
“You’re sorry for making me care for you? You’re not sorry for leaving? Or maybe for sending no word? How about for returning home and saying nothing to me? Those things are nothing? You’re sorry I cared?”
Her chest heaved and pink flushed her face, leaving him unable to formulate an appropriate reply. “I am.”
“Of all the male things you’ve ever done, that was the malest.” Despite the speed of the wagon, she flung her feet out and around the seat, then stood and climbed as quickly as possible over and into the back with the dog.
Chapter5
The moment the wagon came to a complete stop, Kent wound the lines around the brake and heard Alice shuffle from the bed and head to the house. He glanced around as unease settled on his shoulders. Johlman Ranch, while not the inhospitable place it had once been, was not welcoming either. He was still a Douglas.
He climbed down and headed for the back of the wagon. The puppy slept nestled in the blankets he’d used to form a nest for it. Just behind him, there was a similar indent where Alice had been.
Why couldn’t she see that all of this mess started when he’d influenced her to care for him? Without that, none of those other issues she’d named off would matter. She wouldn’t have cared that he didn’t write home nor talk to her. She would’ve been blessedly unaware of his coming and going.
He sighed as he carefully picked up the puppy and hauled it to the barn. If anyone saw his arrival, they weren’t making themselves known just yet. He stopped just inside the doors, giving any of the Johlmans or their hands time to see him. He didn’t want to be called a trespasser, since there was no way any of them could know Hannah had sent him.
In a far corner, he saw a long-haired collie lying passively as four pups about the size of the dog in his arms played around and on top of her. He approached slowly. As a stranger to the dog, who was no doubt either a herder or protector of the flock, might not take to him or his scent all that well.
“Hold up there, Kent,” Gideon Johlman said quietly from behind him.
