Page 44 of Diamonds and Dust


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“No, it’s that boy who decided to drink and drive and race his friend down the highway’s fault.” Tulsi leaned over, trying to catch her father’s eye. “You and Clem were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was terrible luck, but you’re okay and Clem’s going to snap back from this fast, I can tell already. We don’t have to be scared anymore.”

Dale grunted, but still didn’t turn her way.

“Please, Dad,” Tulsi begged, “I love you, but I can’t do this for another six years. I’m sorry I disappointed you, I truly am, but I was just doing the best I could. Can’t you just forgive me and maybe try to…love me? The way you love Clem?”

Her dad turned to her with a stunned expression. “Of course I love you. What do you think the past six years of taking care of you and Clementine has been about?”

“About you doing the right thing even though you think I’m a fool,” Tulsi whispered, smiling even as her eyes filled with tears for the tenth time in the past twelve hours. “And I appreciate it so much, I do, but I don’t want to feel like a fool anymore, Daddy. I’m not a child, I’m a grown woman, and I’m a good mama to Clem and a good daughter to you. I just want to love you and be loved without feeling like I’m never going to be good enough, no matter how hard I try.”

Dale blinked, and Tulsi was shocked to see tears rise in her father’s eyes. She’d never seen him cry, not once in her entire life.

“I just… I hate that I let you down,” he said, his voice gravelly with emotion.

“What do you mean?” Tulsi whispered, afraid of what he was going to say.

“Don’t you think I know it’s my fault?” he continued, tears slipping down his cheeks. “For pushing you aside when you were little and never making time the way I should have? If I’d been better to you back then, if I’d taught you how special you were, instead of being so hard on you all the time, you would have respected yourself enough to pick a decent man. Then you wouldn’t have had to fight so hard to get by and do without the good husband you deserve. It’s my fault. I’m a bastard, just like your sister always says I am.”

“Oh, Dad, that’s not true.” Tulsi shook her head, stunned to realize that this was what had been going through her father’s head all these years. “I respect myself. And I picked a wonderful man, we were just young that’s all. We both made mistakes, but Clementine isn’t one of them. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I wouldn’t take back one minute of being her mama. And you’re a wonderful grandfather to her. She loves you to bits and pieces.”

Dale pulled in a breath and his lips turned down hard. “I tried my damnedest with her. Tried to make up for how I failed you and your sister.”

Tulsi squatted down beside his chair, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “Daddy, you have hurt me, but you haven’t failed me. It’s not too late. We can have a fresh start. Right now. I’m ready to let all the bad things go, aren’t you?”

His lips pressed so tight together the color seeped out of them, but after a long moment he nodded. “This is hitting me hard, Tulsi,” he said in a strained voice. “I barely slept last night for thinking. I don’t want to go out feeling like I’ve failed the people who matter the most.”

“Then you won’t,” Tulsi whispered. “You’ll make a change and make things better. But as far as you and I are concerned, all the sad stuff can stay in the past. I’m keeping my eyes on the future.”

Dale swiped the tears from his cheeks as he cleared his throat. “That reminds me, I was thinking…I can probably let the barn rent go until after Christmas. There’s a difference between teaching someone how to run a business and punishing them for things they can’t control. I know your funding was cut and that’s not your fault.”

“Thank you, Dad,” Tulsi said with a smile. “But I think it’s time to find another therapist for my kids. There’s a wonderful woman in San Antonio I bet I can convince to come take care of my clients one day a week. I’ve got things to think about, too, and I have a feeling my life is moving in a different direction.”

“Knock, knock,” Pike called softly from the door, making Tulsi smile.

Speaking of different directions…

“Can I come in?” he whispered. “The nurse said morning visiting hours started a few minutes ago, but I don’t want to interrupt.”

Tulsi stood, turning to face him, smile widening when she saw the flowers he’d brought. “Come on in. Dad and I are waiting for Clem to wake up. She should be awake soon. She slept really well last night, which the nurses say is a good thing.”

“Great,” Pike said, looking a little nervous as he entered the room and said good morning to her dad.

“Morning,” Dale grunted as he rolled his chair away from the bed. “I should get back to my own room. Patty’s plane landed a while ago. She’ll be here soon. We’ll both come back later when Clem’s awake.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Tulsi said, watching her dad roll slowly out of the room, hope swelling inside her.

Maybe things really would be different between them from now on. She hoped so. The real test, of course, would come when she told her parents who Clem’s father really was and that she and her daughter were moving to Montana to be with him. If her dad didn’t give her the disapproving glare and at least a thirty-minute lecture after that doozy, then she’d know they were truly on the path to a healthier relationship.

“How about you?” Pike set the flowers and a brown paper bag, she hoped contained breakfast, down on the nightstand and pulled her into a hug. “How did you sleep?”

“Not much,” Tulsi said with a smile. “But that’s okay. I’ll take a nap later when Clementine does. Are Mia and Sawyer coming by again before they catch their flight?”

“They are. Mia was talking about canceling the honeymoon, but I told her that would only make you and Clementine feel bad. And I promised I’d stick around so you two will have plenty of support until they get home next week.”

“Good.” Tulsi rested her cheek on his chest, soaking up the strength she always found in his arms. “They should go enjoy themselves. We’re all going to be just fine.”

“We are,” Pike agreed, kissing the top of her head. “I have breakfast, by the way. And three bags of hard candy from the drugstore. I didn’t know how much we’d need for candy poker, but I figured that’s a good place to start.”

“I like gummy worms better,” Clem’s sleepy voice said from the bed. “But we can start with hard candy, and once I win all that, you can go get gummies, Mr. Pike.”

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