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“Mickey, I want to ask you something.”
“Anything, my love,” he can hear the panic in my voice, and his turns stern. It’s a sound I haven’t heard out of his lips since the night he kicked the shit out of Leo for me.
“It probably sounds stupid,” I cut the thought off when we slip into Ben’s room.
Cleaning him is more important than my insecurities. The supplies are on his changing station, and with all the practice I’ve had, the swap is done in seconds.
I place a gentle hand on Ben’s belly so he can’t roll around, and turn to face Mickey straight in the eyes. I’ve gotten good at telling when he’s lying to me. It only ever happened when he spoke about his previous line of work, and I always knew not to pry on those matters.
As he said, if he has to answer, I can’t unhear what he’s done. Rather stay clean. Stay innocent.
“Do you still find me attractive?”
Mickey’s face scrunches up as if I just told him he has some terminal disease with a few weeks left to live.
“Maybe it’s the thought of going to the beach and wearing a bikini again. Or maybe it’s just because I’m not the young woman who fell for the brutish man standing in front of me. But I’m—”
He shuts me up with a kiss. It carries the same burning intensity they’ve all had.
“You’re still as perfect as the day I claimed you, Brianna Byrne. Who am I kidding? You’re far more beautiful. Ever since Michael was born, you’ve had this golden aura following you around. You’re my wife, the mother of my children, you’re a fucking goddess,” he says. He covers his mouth with the palm of his hand, the same way he always does when a swear does slip through the cracks.
“You really mean it?” I ask.
“I’ll swear it on the bible if it’ll wash those silly thoughts from your mind. If you want me to prove it, we can hand Ben to one of the kids, slide into the bedroom, and get another baby brewing.” He plants his hands firmly on my waist and pulls me against the stiffening meat inside his trousers.
“You know we can’t. We’ll miss our flight.”
“I’ll book another. I’m sure your dad can find some fun in Spain while he waits for us,” Mickey says. The more he thinks on it, the harder he gets.
Why was I ever concerned? Mickey Byrne is a sexual tiger and he feeds on my desire.
“We’re already running out of room in the house, silly.” I slap his chest and collect Ben from the table. “The twins are growing up, and they’re going to need their own rooms soon.”
“Then we’ll sell this place and buy a mansion. Two if I have to.”
“With the way you’re going, it might be three.”
Mickey laughs, and Ben joins in.
“Oh, you liked that one, did you, little man?” Mickey rubs Ben’s tummy with his index finger. Ben latches onto the digit and gives it a squeeze.
“We really should be going. We have to be at the airport two hours before the flight,” I put my foot down on the matter.
“Okay fine, we don’t have to do it now,” Mickey says reluctantly. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop coming after you. We’re in Spain for two weeks, and I know what the hot summer air does to you.”
I knew he wouldn’t, and I never wanted him to. The way Mickey lusts for me after all these years, still makes the butterflies billow in my tummy. Every time I look at the rough features of his hardened face, I’m transported back to the first time I set eyes on my monster. Once upon a time, Mickey held this world in a tight fist and squeezed it dry. He had the most dangerous men in New York gunning for him, and he laughed in the face of danger.
Nothing’s changed, not really. The biggest difference between then and now is how Mickey controls himself. He isn’t the one-man show anymore and doesn’t act like it. He lives for his family, our family, and he wants to see it flourish.
And I’m right by his side, growing and nurturing our family. Because in the end, it’s all that matters. Him, me, our children . . .
Absolute perfection.
He snakes one of his arms through mine and pulls me tightly against his side while we walk back to the living room. All of our children are waiting at the entrance.
“Are we ready, kids?” He asks.
The four youngest screech in excitement, eager to get this show on the road. The elder siblings are more reserved with their responses, but I can see in their eyes how ready they are to go see grandpa.
