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His easy manner was always welcomed and I was grateful to have him here as a friend, but I was curious… “How have you been? Are you dating anyone?” Yeah, I wasn’t so subtle there. Liam was a great guy. Any girl would be lucky to have him.
His blue eyes sparkled as he shook his head, smiling. “Nah. Tried to date, but—you know—it’s been horrible. You can pin it down for a long hangover.”
Okay, I wasn’t going to delve into those words. It was only my second day here in Oz land, I needed a clear head.
“Well, I guess there’s nothing to being single, is there? I like it so far.”
“There’s still room for you at my place if you ever change your mind.”
I was living with Dad since I didn’t want to complicate things with Liam. It was better that way.
“Thank you, but I think I’m okay for now.”
“Well, it’s there, just letting you know.”
My lunch with Liam went with a lot of read-between-the-lines messages. He liked me. Still. After what had happened.
I mean,Ididn’t even like me after how I had treated him, yet his eyes spoke volumes, and they were telling me that he was waiting me out until I was ready to date again. Given time, maybe I would open that chapter again.
As of right that moment though, I was still reeling from his statement that I was in love with Greyson.
I wasn’t. I was sure of it.
* * *
My first month was a hard adjustment. Apart from the vast time difference, I had to acclimatize myself with the thinking that I wasn’t a visitor; I was a resident.
Of course I had Dad and Liam to take me around from time to time, however learning their railway and going about my way in the city was a fun experience.
Apart from school, I didn’t really have that many friends. It wasn’t because of lack of invitations from all these fun, amazing people. It was me. The problem stemmed from me not being able to connect; to step out of my comfort zone. Normally it would have been a trivial thing because I had always been up for something new to experience—most especially when I was living in a different country—but no, I was acting up for no fucking reason.
It didn’t surprise me that, as the days passed, I felt the depression settle in. At first, I was blaming it on homesickness, yet as the time went on, I couldn’t lie to myself any longer.
The main culprit was Greyson Edwards. He was tattooed in my brain. In my heart. Yes, I was fucking in love with him. What the hell had I been thinking lying to myself anyway? At least, if I had admitted it to myself, I could have had my conscience to console me, but now, it had become my enemy.
I had no one to vent to, either. My dad was so busy with work; I barely got a chance to eat dinner with him.
So I was always on my lonesome, thinking and rehashing about the future… and the past.
One Friday night, I gave in and decided to text Greyson.
Me:Hello. This is Olivia. How are things back home?
I sent the text before I had even managed to think it through because I knew if I hesitated, I wouldn’t send it. And I needed to hear from him, something.
Mom hadn’t been forthcoming with information, either. Well, I supposed if I had been fishing blatantly, she would’ve given in. Since I didn’t want to ask Josie about him, I was stuck with my thoughts.
I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t get a reply from him. His last words still haunted me. They had haunted me so badly that I was starting to have consistent dreams about him. Dreams of us, together, and in the end he would tell me to move on and forget about him. At times, we would be making love and he would whisper those words into my ear.
I wouldn’t exactly say I had a guilty conscience for pushing him away. I’d had to do what I had to do.
One of the main goals I had that year was to ask my father about his own love life, but time and time again, when I saw an opportunity, I cowered away from it. I thought then, if my father was ready to tell the world about his truth, then he would tell me.
At that point in my life, I knew I should deal with my own personal demons; the memories of Greyson, coming to life in my heart.
CHAPTER33
Liv
