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“When will you get it through your skull that she’s not in it for the long haul? She’ll never stay… not for you anyway,” she said, circling him until she stopped before him, cupping his face. “You know I’m the only girl that’s been constant in your life. For once, try to believe me. I love you, Grey… but what hurts most is seeing you hurt and knowing I can barely take the pain away. I don’t know if I’ll be strong enough to help you the second time…” she trailed off. “My days are numbered.”
“It’s different this time—”
Edith sadly smiled at him. “Isn’t it always? How many times have I heard this line from you? And every time, her promises have failed you. It wasmewho helped you get out of that rut, Grey. And if this time is so different, where in the world is she? We both know your house isn’t far from here.”
He shook his head. Unsure. “I’m going.”
“I thought you said you loved me, Grey?”she shot back when he was about to leave, stopping him again.
“Edith… it’s different.” He sounded torn. “What I have with Olivia is much more complex than what you and I have.”
“No—” She shook her head, disbelieving. “You proposed, remember?” She sniffed. “You promised me happiness, Greyson, and I need you to deliver that promise in the next half an hour.”
“Don’t do this; I beg you.”
Edith wouldn’t pay heed. “If she wasn’t in the picture, you admitted that it would beme. Stop forcing her to be in the picture because she doesn’t want to be in it!”
Grey was reddening as he tried to reason with her, but out of nowhere, Edith seemed like she was hyperventilating. Her chest rose and fell quickly, looking frantic.
“Inside,” she croaked out barely a second before Greyson immediately swooped her off her feet, and without delay, went inside the dark double doors on the apartment entrance where I assumed the bride and her entourage gathered before the ceremony.
It took me a full five minutes to recover from what I’d heard Edith say about Greyson loving her. Then another five over the fact she’d said he had proposed while doing so.
I finally got my answer, yet more questions had arisen.
He loved her.
Deep down, I somehow knew that he possibly did because only a man who cared deep enough would sacrifice something like that to make a dying woman’s wish come true.
This whole thing wrecked me. I came here, all the way from Sydney, so that I could truly know for myself the wedding was really happening, but I had gotten more than I bargained for. Learning that Grey let another woman into his heart crushed whatever was left in mine. I felt it; the puny valves in my heart ached each time it pumped blood, contracting with difficulty as it dealt with the hacking pain my body was consumed in.
My body sagged against the stone pillar, quietly weeping for losing him. I knew with every fiber in me he wasn’t coming out of this church a single man. I was too late. I should’ve come back months before. Better yet, I shouldn’t have left at all, believing that I could easily move on and forget about him. About our love and his sweet, passionate nature.
For months I’d had him jumping hoops, waiting in vain as I contemplated our relationship. Yet, even from the start, Grey had known he wanted me. He’d never wavered and had kept on going even though it was hurting him.
He let it all out, screaming his love for me, and I had hidden behind excuses whenever I could, successfully believing that it was merely lust that made us spin out of control when together. That it was temporary when we were consumed with lust. That it was our hate for each other that had ignited us both when our lips met from the first time till the end. All of this I had masked in denial, never fully accepting the simple truth behind us, that we were simply crazy about each other, so exaggeratedly consumed with one another because we were falling deeper in love.
And I had thrown it all away…
For what?A future I had mapped out for myself a few years back? What good would it be now when I could barely recall what it was that made me give Greyson up in the first place?
I was weak when it came to him. I’d never had enough courage to fight for what he so vehemently believed in—us, together.
So maybe I deserved this cruel agony for being such a weakling. Maybe Edith was right after all; it washerwho was constantly present in his life. Not me… never me.
My body broke into goose bumps when I heard the organ start playing, echoing around me, as if a sign for me to leave before nothing became of me.
The wedding march song became official as I robotically found my way into another corridor, past the glass, silent prayer rooms that barely had anyone in them, until I finally saw the full side view of everything.
Grey stood at the altar next to his best friend, Jet, while Edith, looked perfect now without a spec of make-up smeared anywhere as she glided all by her lonesome on the red carpet, smiling towards Grey. And as for Grey, he merely looked somber, complacent, as if he’d accepted his fate.
As Edith reached the altar, when I saw Grey proceed to make a move to take her hand, just as quietly as I’d strode in, I walked out the door.
Edith marrying him to complete her happiness and wishes in life before everything got swept away would be her prize for always fighting for him. As for me, I was right when I had said I would become nothing.
Because that’s what I had become, a fleeting memory of the old Olivia.
ChapterThirty-Nine
