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“You flinch, and I stop. Whether you say the safe word or not.”
She stares back at me. “Oh. Changing the rules, are we?”
I dab my hands on a towel, aware of her gaze roaming over my naked body. I need to get it through her head. I want to please her, but I want to keep myself safe, too.
I tower over her and take her down to the mattress, weighing her down and kissing her so hard that we’re both breathless by the time we come up for air. Her warm skin against mine feels different so soon after I’ve come. With that bit of relief out of my system, holding her against me feels like what this really is between us. Home.
I kiss her neck and murmur, “I could fuck the wiggles out of you first if you think it’ll help keep you from flinching.”
She swallows. “No. No, I trust you.”
“I’ll keep you safe. Do you believe me?”
Meghan nods, and her throat bobs. The first time she told me the sorts of things she wanted to try, I didn’t understand it. But after she showed me, it made sense.
Soon, I became so lost in her world of little games that her preferences became my preferences. At first, her enjoyment was enough to bring me to completion.
But I was also inexperienced. We both were. Her threshold for danger was too high for me.
Now, I follow my instincts. Deep down, I know exactly how to handle her. How to love her.
Splayed out on my mattress, Meghan lifts her arms above her head, resting them on the wall.
Her eyes go to the switchblade in the glass, and I see a shiver run through her.
“Tell me, what’s going on in your life?”
She knits her brow together, confused. “What?”
“I want to know what’s been going on with you since we last saw each other. I want to catch up.”
“Why?”
I blink at her. “Well. Because I love you.” I say that like it should be obvious.
“You won’t love me when you hear what I’ve been doing for the past year.”
“Try me.”
“Can we talk later?” Meghan asks, her eyes on the knife.
“No. Because if we do this? This isn’t just a game. I’m not losing you this time. I’m not doing this because I can’t get enough of the physical. I want to do this with someone I love and who feels loved by me.”
FIFTEEN
Meghan
Did I hear that right?
“Glad to hear you’re not planning on running away this time,” I tease.
Herc’s face tenses, and he leans over me with the knife. My mouth is watering.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. This means we’re back together. I’m your man. The end.”
“C-can we talk about this later? Just please…”
“No. I’ll give you what you want, and you give me what I want.”
