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Her nose wrinkled. “Why would she feelresponsible?”
“She wasn’t around much when the kids were young,” I explained. “And when they were older, she was away even more. So she feels like it’s partly her fault that things went so wrong, and she thinks she owes it to Adam to look after himnow.”
“Oh. Well, if that’s what she wants to do, and it makes her feel better, then good forher.”
“She’s actually hired my mom to help her out with the whole thing,” I said. “She’s offered her three times her old salary to do it, and she’s giving her one of their vacant houses in Royal Falls to live in so that she can be closer to the mansion. Rent-free.”
“Wow. That’s great forher.”
“Yeah. She can quit her other office cleaning job when this new one starts,” I replied. “And she can finally leave that old house inSilvercreek.”
“Good for her. She deserves it after all the shit she’s been through. I can’t believe Adam was actually going to frame her,” Trina said, shaking her head. She paused and chewed on her bottom lip. “You know, speaking of that… I talked to Hunter about the whole thing yesterday when he called to see if I was coming to the service. He told me about the new suspect list you guys came up with after Adam blew up your car, and I know you thought it could be me for a hotminute.”
“Shit. I’m so sorry, Trina,” I mumbled, burying my face in my glovedhands.
She laughed softly and pulled my hands away. “Don’t apologize. It’s fine,” she said. “Talking to him about it made me realize that I owe you anexplanation.”
I shook my head. “No, you don’t owe meanything.”
“I do.” She held up a palm. “I know it’s really weird that I never told you I was best friends with Lindsay. I acted like I barely even knewher.”
“I’m sure you had yourreasons.”
She nodded slowly and sighed. Tears were glistening in her eyes now. “When she died, I didn’t know how to process it. Before it happened, I was really fucking angry at her. I was going to go and confront her for the stuff she did, and I was ready to tear her a new asshole. Butthen…”
“She died,” I saidsoftly.
Trina nodded. “I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel then. I was devastated that she was gone, and I was shocked too. It didn’t even feel real. And also…” She trailed off and wiped her cheek with one hand. “I was still angry at her at the same time. It made me feel like such a terrible person. Like… are you even allowed to be angry at your dead bestfriend?”
I lightly rubbed her forearm. “I know what youmean.”
She looked down at the wreath before continuing. “I was so caught up trying to figure out what to feel that I just went numb. I guess it was like a coping strategy for me. I figured if I never spoke about her and tried not to think about her at all, I could hold on to that numbness and never have to worry about breaking down.” She looked up at me again. “Does any of that makesense?”
“Yes,” I said, squeezing her hand in mine. “I’m sorry for thinking you could’ve hurt her. I should’ve realized that everyone has their own way of dealing withgrief.”
“It’s okay. You were just trying to find out who killed her, and like Adam told you at the time… I was angry at Lindsay for what she did. That could’ve been a motive if I was a psychopath likehim.”
“I know, but I’m sorry anyway.” I bit my lip and tilted my head slightly to the side. “How do you feel about Lindsay now? Are you stillangry?”
Trina hesitated. “She really hurt my sister. Ruined her marriage. But… she didn’t do it alone,” she said softly. “That man took advantage of her. She was young, and honestly, she wasn’t very emotionally stable. So I’ve forgiven her now. I just wish I got the chance to do it before I lost herforever.”
I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around her, throat aching as her guilt and sadness permeated the air. She cried silently, chest heaving against me, and I held her tightly and stroked the back of her head until she was ready to pull back and wipe hereyes.
“There’s one other thing I should tell you,” she said. “When I was talking to Hunter, he said he thought I was acting like I wanted to get rid of you when all the shit was going on. Like, I kept suggesting you leave town and changeschools.”
“You were just trying tohelp.”
She nodded. “I already lost one good friend,” she said, voice trembling. “I was worried I’d lose you too, with everything that was happening. So I know I probably seemed like I was overreacting by suggesting that you get out of Royal Falls, but I wasn’t trying to get rid of you. I just wanted you to be safe and happy. That’s all. I still wanted you in mylife.”
“I know. I totally getit.”
She hugged me again, and then we turned to look at the flowers and wreaths that other people had already laid against the wall of themausoleum.
Trina told me some stories about her and Lindsay getting up to all sorts of mischief when they were kids. Her voice seemed lighter now, and the tension in her body seemed to melt away as she spoke about her oldfriend.
Her phone pinged in her pocket a moment later, and she briefly glanced at it before letting out a sigh. “I have to take this,” she said. “I’ll be back in a minute,okay?”
She gave me a quick hug before heading over to the courtyard on the other side of the mausoleum. Hunter returned to my side a couple of minuteslater.
