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“So you can hang things from them?” Interesting. Like handcuffs or people. This will go down a storm, but where the fuck did she come up with this?
“Yes, like material, or lights, maybe.” She shrugs
Of course. “What colors did you have in mind?”
“Black and gold.”
Perfect. Sexy but tasteful. “I love it. When can we start?”
“It’s only a draft,” she says. “I have to do some mood boards, scale drawings, lighting plans, that sort of thing. Will you take me home?”
I crick my neck when I look at her sharply. Home? Something tells me she doesn’t meanmyhome. “Are you okay?”
She doesn’t want to spend the rest of the day with me? She gets up, smiling. “I’m fine,” she says. “I’ve got some work stuff to sort out for tomorrow.”
Don’t crowd her.Fuck you, John.I sigh, feeling lost. “Okay,” I say reluctantly, begrudgingly accepting. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Why do I sense something is amiss?
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
I eye her suspiciously. Is her hand twitching? Is that smile fake? And why’s my stomach turning? “Come on then.” I collect her bag and her hand and take her downstairs, realizing halfway that I haven’t got my keys.
We reach the entrance hall, and I make a quick scope of the space, hearing people in the bar. “Wait here,” I say, but quickly rethink my plan. “Actually, go get in the car.” I guide her to the door. “It’s open.” I leave her and rush to my office, bursting in and snatching my keys off my desk. I exit sharpish, jogging back through The Manor, but slow down when I reach the summer room, looking at Ava’s bag in my grasp. I smile and pull out her phone, changing the ring tone before replacing it and picking up my pace, nearly taking Sarah off her heels when she appears from the bar, colliding with my charging form.
“Shit!” she yelps, and I grab her before she falls flat on her face and bursts her lips. She gathers herself, looking dazed. “Are we burning down?” she asks, following me to the door, laughing.
“Sorry.” I stop at the top of the steps, seeing Ava by my car. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, sweetie.” Sarah joins me and leans in, kissing my cheek. “See you later.”
I break away and make my way to Ava, handing over her bag and opening the door.
“Hope to see you again, Ava.” Sarah calls. I look over my shoulder. Her smile is dazzling, and I cock her a questioning look. She rolls her eyes and heads back inside.Yes, too much.
But I can’t moan. She seems to be taking it on the chin, and I know this drastic change in the dynamics of our relationship will be hard for her. She’s not wrong. It has been the three of us for a long time.
I round my car and slip in beside Ava, starting the engine and reaching for her leg, giving it a gentle squeeze, silently getting her attention. She seems... distant. “Okay?”
She offers a small smile that goes nowhere near her eyes, resting her hand on mine and returning my squeeze. “Yes. Just thinking of all the things I need to prep for my week.”
So she has a busy week at work. I inwardly pout. Does that mean we won’t get to spend any time with each other? I’m desperate to ask, just so I have all my ducks in a row—and so I can prepare myself for how long it’ll be before I can see her again.Don’t crowd her.I can already feel my mood dipping.
It’s uncomfortably quiet on the way to her place. My thoughts chase around in circles, conjuring up reason after reason to keep her for the night. There’s none except, of course, that I simply don’t want to spend the night without her.Just tell her that.
I pull up outside Kate’s, and I’m about to show my hand, tell her I want her to stay with me, when she quickly leans across and presses a fleeting kiss to my cheek before jumping out of my car at lightning speed. “I’ll call you.”
My frown follows her up the path until she shuts the door behind her.What was that?I drum the steering wheel with my fingertips. Then open the door, set to go find out what’s going on.
Don’t crowd her.
“Fuck,” I mutter, slamming it again and zooming off, my foot naturally heavy on the accelerator. What the fuck am I going to do until tomorrow?
21
Go crazy.That’s what I did. Walked circles around my apartment, typed out a dozen texts, deleted them, went to bed, and tossed and turned all night.
I woke at five, ran ten miles, paced some more, and spent most of Monday trying to reason with myself, constantly hearing John telling me not to crowd her. Calling her wouldn’t be crowding her. Texting her wouldn’t be crowding her. Dropping in to see her at work wouldn’t be crowding her.
But here’s my problem: I don’t have the mental capacity or energy to convince myself I’m being irrational. All I know is that when she’s with me, I’m fine, and when she’s not, I’m far from fine.
