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“Good.”
She grins at me, and I grin right back. “I’ve fucked you, and now I’m going to feed you.”And then talk to you, I promise.It seems that if I wait for her love confession, I’ll be waiting a long fucking time.
I leave her in the bedroom with instructions to wear lace and meet me in the kitchen, before heading downstairs. I open the fridge. “Well, that didn’t go exactly as I planned,” I say to the peanut butter.
“I can’t find my stuff.”
I look back at the door. She’s in a towel.
“I’ll take naked.” I grab my jar and wander casually on over, my greedy eyes starting at her feet and dragging all the way to her face. “Cathy’s off and the fridge is empty. I’ll order in. What do you fancy?”
“You,” she quips around a cheeky smirk.
I pull the towel from her body and pout at the naked flesh before me. “Your god needs to feed his temptress. The rest of your stuff is in that dirty, great big wooden trunk that you had dumped in my bedroom. What do you want to eat?”
“I’m easy.”
“I know, but what do you want to eat?”
“I’m only easy with you.”
“You fucking better be,” I say, almost laughing. “Now, tell me, what do you want to eat?”
“I like anything. You choose. What time is it, anyway?”
“Seven. Go and take a shower before I abandon dinner and take you again.” I send her on her way with a slap on her arse, and she jumps a little as she goes. The sight is too good to give up, so I follow her, unscrewing the cap of my peanut butter, resting my shoulder on the doorframe as she takes the stairs slowly. I should be pissed off with myself for diverting so spectacularly from my plan. But...
She’s still here.
She looks over her shoulder when she reaches the top. Smiles. Blows me a kiss. And I fall harder.
They say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I call bullshit. To love and lose is hell. I wouldn’t know what it’s like to love and keep forever.
But I pray I’m about to find out.
34
After callingthe local Chinese takeaway and ordering, I wipe the worktops down and go to the fridge for some water. I frown at the empty shelves, empty except for bottles of water and jars of my vice. I need Cathy back. My washing is piling up, the cupboards are bare, and the dishwasher is beginning to scream in protest for being so full. Speaking of which... I head for the machine and pull open the door, scanning the control panel. Simple, she said. I wrack my brain for the instructions she gave me. They’re lost. Buried by other thoughts. I hit a few buttons. “Add rinse aid?” I say to myself, frowning. The screen flashes again. “Salt? You put salt in the dishwasher?”
Giving up on trying to figure out the dishwasher—there’s too much else to figure out—I shut the door and go back to the fridge, reaching in for my peanut butter and quickly retracting. “No,” I say to myself. “You’ll ruin your appetite.” Hunger is a rarity, my appetite constantly suppressed by other things. I’m quite enjoying being starving, and not just for food.
I hear the phone chime and head for the door, answering to the concierge. “On my way,” I say, slipping out to go collect our dinner. The smell of good food smacks me in the face when the elevator doors slide open, and I spy a bag sitting on the desk. The concierge is pouting at it.
“Hungry?” I ask as I stride toward him, a small smile on my face. I claim the bag, and my eyebrows shoot up when I hear the distinct sound of a stomach rumbling. “Was that yours or mine?” I ask, glancing at my midriff.
Clive shakes his head and massages his tummy. “I’ve not eaten since breakfast,” he moans. “How’s Ava?”
“Sober,” I grunt, reaching into the bag and pulling out a prawn cracker. “Here.That’ll keep you going until you knock off.” I place it on his desk and stroll off, getting back in the elevator. The doors begin to close, I glance up, and an odd shiver glides down my spine.
Someone is standing outside the glass door of Lusso, staring in, and I squint, trying to focus, but the reflections on the glass are hampering my view. Then the doors meet in the middle, and I quickly reach for the buttons and start stabbing at them, my stomach not now churning with hunger, but churning with something else. I can’t put my finger on it. The doors begin to open again, and I squeeze out of the gap as soon as it’s wide enough, my eyes scanning beyond the doors. There’s no one now. But there was someone. Someone I rec—
“Mr. Ward?” Clive says.
I blink my burning eyes and look at him.
“Everything okay?”
I march past, my strides long and determined, my eyes back on the entrance, and when I reach the doors, I push my way outside, searching every nook and cranny of the car park. Nothing. Another nasty chill ripples through me. “No,” I say, laughing under my breath, reaching for my throat and massaging the ball of anxiety away. She’s locked up somewhere far away from here. Fuck, I need to screw my head back on straight. I rub at my forehead, reversing my steps back into the foyer, my eyes still darting the car park outside, until I turn and head back to the elevator. I look over my shoulder, frowning.
