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I want to see you.
The breathyOh Godwas acceptance. She royally fucked up when she said that.
I reach across to the other seat and take the phone and SIM, putting it together, not quite believing I’m stooping to this kind of low. I key in her number, lifting the phone to my ear as I look back up at the window. As it starts to ring, I break free from the confines of her little car and stretch my muscles, glancing at my trousers. They’re stupidly crumpled. They match my fucking brain.
“Ava O’Shea.”
My head snaps up, her voice sliding over my skin like silk, momentarily rendering me incapable of replying or moving.
“Hello?”
“Are you alone?” I spit the words out fast, not thinking about how I sound. Angry. I sound angry. I’m not thinking straight.
I can hear movement and sudden heavy breathing. “No.” She rushes the word after way too long.
For the love of God, does she take pleasure from this? “Why are you lying to me?” I ask, my vocal cords hurting from the strain to hold back from growling my words.
There’s more movement, and my mind conjures up images of her darting to the window to look out, so I gaze up, seeing her shadow behind the blinds. Every modicum of sense remaining is telling me to walk away before this kills me, but that tiny side of my fucked-up mind, the side that’s dead set on making my life fucking miserable, is stamping all over it.
The line goes dead, and I pull the stupid, cheap, disposable crap away from my ear, looking at it in disgust. My ego wants to believe that the piece of shit is broken, but I know damn well she just hung up on me. Again.Breathe, Ward. Breathe.
Slightly concerned by the building anger, I dial her again, my mind invaded by those images of her standing before me in that lace. The words she uttered. The desperation, the want, the acceptance.
She doesn’t answer, and I resist throwing the phone to the floor, texting her instead. I know she’ll read it. She might not reply, but she’ll read it. I don’t think about what my thumbs are bashing out. They just bash away, a mind of their own.
Answer your phone!
Just as I click send, I yell in frustration at my own abruptness. I’m trying to fucking win this woman, not scare her half to death. I dial her again, but she doesn’t answer.Again. “For fuck’s sake,” I curse, re-dialing. I’ll call her all night if I have to. I’m not leaving until she faces me and explains what the fuck happened. “Fucking answer!” I demand.
She doesn’t. “Fine,” I say to myself, resolute. She doesn’t get to do this. Every second she refuses to acknowledge me is enhancing the truth of it.
She’s scared.
Admittedly, I’m scared too. Fucking terrified. She can soothe me, just like I know I can soothe her. I cross the road toward the house, as the piece-of-shit phone screams the arrival of a text. My stomach turns, my stomach actually turns, and my brow breaks out in a light sweat. I open her message.
No.
No.
Just... no.
Bollocks to this shit. I pick up my stride, hammering out another text, my march determined.
Fine, I’m coming in.
It’s mere seconds before my phone is screeching in my hand, and I look down at it, smiling to myself as I answer. “Too late, Ava,” I say quietly, approaching the front door and cutting the call, my heart feeling like it could punch its way out of my chest. Her fault. And with that thought, I start hammering at the door like a fucking madman, but I feel like it, totally consumed with desperation to make her admit our chemistry.
“Open the door, Ava.” I continue banging, not bothered about disturbing the peace or drawing any attention to myself. She will answer. “Ava, I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me, please.”
Bang, bang, bang.
“I’ve got your keys, Ava. I’ll let myself in.” What the hell am I saying? Will I?
I halt with my incessant beating of the door and think for a moment. Will she make me resort to that too?Jesus, please don’t.I bang some more, but stop quickly, my back straightening, my ears listening carefully. And then I hear the thumping of footsteps. She’s coming down, and she’s mad.
Good. I need someone in this with me.
I rest my hands on the doorframe and wait. Breathe in. Swallow hard.
