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“I think that’s not unreasonable. She needs time to adjust. Aria of all people should know that.” Every word falls flat and I’m certain Carter can see through it. The mention of his wife brings a touch of tension to his posture.
It’s quiet a moment, not a sound other than the steady ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner of his office and the crackle of the fire.
“Braelynn will get used to it — just like we all did. We all adjusted.”
“Why not give her an out?” Carter suggests and instantly I hate it.
“What do you mean?” I barely speak the menacing question.
“Offer her a way out where she can leave all of this behind and know that she’s safe.”
“Leave me, you mean?” I’m ashamed of how my voice cracks. Of how he could possibly turn his back on me. Break his fucking word to me that she is mine to do with as I see fit.
“You can always bring her back,” Carter says, rushing the words out. As if they’re an excuse for his proposal to be justified. “It’s just a way to see—”
“Another test.” The hard words leave me with as much anger as they do anguish.
It’s quiet, far too quiet and I lift my gaze back up to Carter to see him nod.
“Another test but also … an option for space.”
A sarcastic huff of a laugh leaves me and I tell him bluntly, “She doesn’t need space.” I practically spit the words. She needs protection and a firm hand, and he knows that.
I’m struck by the softness in his tone as he tells me, “If I could go back, I would have given Aria more space. I would have let her adjust more comfortably.”
A moment passes and then another as I let his words sink in.
“You did give her space,” I point out, remembering all too well.
“After too much shit happened … after it was almost too late.”
“It all worked out in the end. Didn’t it?”
“Yes. Yes it did, and I’m grateful it did … but Aria is also from the life. Braelynn isn’t.”
“What does that have to do—”
“You know damn well it matters. She doesn’t know shit about how to navigate our world.”
My thumb runs a circle on the pad of my middle finger as I comment lowly, “She’ll learn.” I wish I could confide in him about the thoughts that plague me when sleep evades me. How almost every night, I witness her die. My own death comes shortly after. It’s only a dream, racing thoughts and fears transformed into events that don’t exist. But that reality feels so close. As if it’s only a single incident from being real.
“I’m scared for her and for you, Declan.” I meet my brother’s gaze, forcing the fears of my night terrors down. “I mean it, Declan. I’m only trying to help you.” I know he’d sacrifice his life for me. I know he would never lead me astray. Deep inside, I know his intentions are pure. Not an ounce of me likes it, though. He’s a ruthless, coldhearted man with a reputation of selfishness and callousness. Except for us. Except for family.
With the unsettled feelings stirring, I humor him. “So what are you thinking?”
“A chance to leave, enough money to get away … a tracker.”
“If she takes it, it could mean she did it,” I state as if that’s the real point to all of this. Knowing Carter, he won’t quit until he has an explanation for what occurred. He won’t leave italone. He’ll never trust her. He’ll never fully bring her in. The realization is a knife to my heart and I can barely listen as he says, “If she takes it, we can watch to see what she does with it.”
I’m silent, letting the reality sink in.
He adds, “Who she contacts. It could give her space to adjust to this life on her own terms.”
I respond with the only thing I know is true in this moment. “I don’t want to give her the option to leave.”
“Tell her you don’t want her to. So she knows how you feel, but give her the option regardless.”
The option.A sickness churns in my gut. She’ll take that option and he knows it. In this moment, I hate him.
