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Thump,thump,thump… all I can hear is my heart.
A cold sweat lines the back of my neck as I face the door again.
“Braelynn?” I call out her name as I twist the freezing cold knob. “I told you to stay,” I grit out as the door creaks open, only to regret it. I regret it all.
One step forward and I can’t go any farther. My knees collapse. Braelynn …
Her small body dangles just feet above the floor.
“You should have given her an out,” Carter says from behind me.
“Declan?”I jolt awake, a cold sweat covering every inch of my skin as I shoot up. Braelynn’s gasp is met with her pulling the sheet up closer around her as she leans away from me. Wide eyed and terrified. My sweet girl who always smiled, who was playful and mischievous. How long has it been since I’ve seen her with anything other than this look of caution and fear on her face?
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “You were having a nightmare.”
It takes me a moment to compose myself. To swallow and breathe. To realize it was just another fucking night terror.
I nearly tell her to go to bed. But a different question leaves me instead. “Are you afraid of me?”
She only hesitates for a moment as the late-night light from the moon filters through the blinds and lays across her small body. “You know I am.”
Her honesty is quietly spoken.
Mine nearly stays buried inside of me, but this hour of the night leaves no moments for the unspoken needs. “Do you love me?” I ask her.
“Yes,” she answers and doesn’t hesitate.
“More than you’re afraid of me?”
I’m met with silence and her gorgeous deep brown eyes begging me to take that question back. It’s all the answer I need.
“Go to sleep, Braelynn,” I tell her as I lie back down, unsure of how I can possibly sleep after that. Visions of the night terrors plague me as I lie as still as can be, willing a dreamless sleep to come. It’s nearly 5:00 a.m. when my phone lights up with a silent message.
It’s from Carter:The cash is here and security has been informed. Whenever you’re ready, just let me know.
BRAELYNN
One wrong move and I’m dead.That’s all I keep thinking.
The ice bath and my screams. Aria’s warning. Even the way his brothers look at me haunts me every second I’m alone.
I’m terrified to be alone. He knows it. I know that he knows I am. He denies it, and tells me what a good girl I am for listening to him. But inside I’m dying. I know that I’m not okay and I’m too afraid to tell him.
It’s been two days since I’ve spoken to Aria and two nights since Declan confirmed I’m a prisoner. Two days of simply being and they only moments I feel alive are when he’s inside of me, holding me and fucking me like he loves me and wants nothing more than me.
Then he leaves me here, alone, with books I can’t read because the words can’t be heard over the thoughts screaming in my head. With thoughts and doubts that torment me. Memories of Scarlet and her betrayal, but also her friendship. I knew her for years. I witnessed her die … only to come close to death myself.
I love Declan Cross and I think I always have, but he’s going to be the death of me. I think he knows it too and that’s why last night I woke up to him crying out my name.
He knows one day they’re going to kill me. It doesn’t matter if he loves me too. I’m almost certain of that. I can still feel him pulsing inside of me as pleasure ripples through my body, and yet, all I can think is that I’m never going to leave this place alive.
Part of me wants to drown in sleep medication until all of this is nothing but a memory. Until I’m allowed to leave and be my own person again. My phone sits untouched and I know there are messages from my mother all left on read. I can’t lie to her but I can’t disobey Declan either. The only thought that screams in my head when I’m left alone is the moment Declan no longer wants me, he’ll have me taken care of.
And then he holds me, he kisses me, he makes love to me and it’s all soothed away. For only a moment, for only a night. Then I wake up and I’m reminded of the fact that I’m trapped all over again. I wish he would just tell me the truth. I wish I could ask him without being scared that I’ll upset him. I thought being with him made me strong, but I’m nothing under him. I’m pitiful and ashamed. Thoughts stray back to my ex and I hate that somehow I feel less now than I did then. I don’t know how this happened but I wish Aria hadn’t told me so bluntly. I know it’s foolish to live in ignorance, and I would have found out and Declan had already crossed a line … I wish I could let it go, but I am unraveling.
I know what it’s like to spiral. I’ve been here before and I’m not okay.
I wish I knew if he really loved me or if he’s simply deciding what piece in the game I am and where he’s going to put me. I wish I knew how this was going to end.
