Page 51 of Code Name: Outlaw


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“Does Ian know?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t hide this from him—not when a client’s safety could be jeopardized because of it. I’ve been trying to make it work as long as I can. But I can’t protect people if my body is going to fail at a critical moment. Like what happened tonight.”

“You know what some jackass said to me the other day?”

He raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“What you can do is all you can do.”

He let out a low chuckle. “Yeah, that definitely sounds like a jackass.”

She stood and went to the other side of the table, sliding onto the bench with him. “You did what you could.”

He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Now I know how it feels to be on the other end of that advice. It doesn’t really help, does it?”

“No, it doesn’t.” She slipped her hand into one of his. “What do the doctors say? Is it going to get better?”

“Fully? No. And there’s no way to tell how bad it will get, and in my line of work, inconsistency isn’t something I can live with. So, it looks like I’ll be moving to a desk job.”

She let out an exaggerated gasp. “Sitting at a desk and accomplishing important things? No! Anything but that.”

“I know, I know. You do it all the time. But I’m not a desk person.”

“Maybe your new normal won’t have to be at a desk. There has to be something in between Mission: Impossible-type shenanigans and sitting all day, every day in a job you hate.”

“Maybe.”

He didn’t believe her, but Jenna knew she was right. Between her, the Zodiac team, and the Linear Tactical guys, they would find something for him. And not just busywork. Her Outlaw was too important to relegate to something that made him feel trivial.

Her Outlaw.

How many times over the past few days—and even before—had he shown her she didn’t have to face things alone?

Now it was her turn to show him.

* * *

“Are you in pain right now?” Jenna asked him.

“No. I’m stiff and clumsy, but no real pain.”

Good. She didn’t want him to be in pain. But she wanted him.

But first, she wanted him to know she understood.

She moved, straddling his hips so they were face-to-face. With a conversation as intimate as this, she wanted to be touching him.

“When I was taken, I was changed,” she said quietly, settling her arms around his neck as his hands landed on her hips. “My entire life was stolen from me. You’ve seen it. And as much as I like to think someday I’ll be able to just…stand outside and feel the wind in my hair and the sun on my skin again, I don’t know if it’ll ever happen. What Garrison did changed me so deeply, I get angry every fucking day.”

His brows creased and he nodded. She could see the anger he was also feeling on her behalf.

But this wasn’t about her.

“And you’re the same,” she continued. “It’s not happening as quickly to you, but your life as you knew it has also been stolen. You have to watch it happen in slow motion and know it’s happening. I can’t even imagine that. I’m not sure which way is worse.”

He leaned his forehead against hers, sliding his hands up her ribs. “I think they’re both equally bad in different ways. But I’ve never thought of the comparison before.”

She smiled and winked at him. “I don’t know if you knew, but I’m brilliant. So you should always believe everything I say.”

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