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“Whatwasthat? It was kissing. I know it was kissing. I know what kissing is. I don’t need to clarify that part, obviously. But I need to know what it meant. Is kissing a thing that we do now? Or is it a thing we’re never going to speak of again, and take to the silent depths of our graves?”
“I...” Cass’s brow wrinkled. “Is there a middle ground there?”
“A middle ground?” It was my turn to repeat things.
“Fran, we’re practically strangers. We’re not the same people we were in high school.”
“God, I hope not.”
“Right?” His mouth quirked wryly. “And I get the impression that things are still sort of up in the air with you. With Ben, and—”
“They’re not,” I said. “Me and Ben are done.”
“Okay, the fallout from all that then. Moving here, getting a new job, getting the girls settled in, all of that.”
Well, that was fair.
Cass sat down on the ratty couch. “But I’d like us to hang out again. As friends. And maybe we could see how it all goes from there.”
I sat on the couch beside him. As a friend. “Okay, yeah. That sounds reasonable.”
And it really did sound reasonable. Reasonable, sensible, and responsible. So why did I suddenly hate the idea so much? Was it because it had been months since I’d gotten laid? Things with Ben had fizzled out in the bedroom long before they’d fizzled out anywhere else, and it wasn’t until I’d been kissing Cass that I’d realized just how much I missed sex. “Friends sounds good. It sounds great.” I shrugged. “Some friends have benefits, you know.”
Cass spat his water out. “Fran! Jesus!”
I laughed at him as he grabbed his flannel shirt and wiped his Santa pants down. “I’m just saying! I’m gentler than Ms. Cummings.”
I thought he’d laugh too, but instead his expression softened as he looked at me. “Fran.”
My smile faded. “What?”
“We’re not that sort of friends, are we?” He chewed his lower lip for a second, looking suddenly as young as he did in all my memories. “I mean, well, you get what I mean. Olivia and me, that was a casual thing that didn’t mean anything. I don’t know if I could be casual with you.”
It was like all the air had been sucked out of the room. I swallowed, and my throat clicked loudly. “Cass...”
He flashed a smile and went back to dabbing at his pants. “Yeah. It’d be too weird, I think.”
“I was only joking,” I mumbled, but I think we both knew I wasn’t.
Don’t make it any weirder, Fran.
“Want to come over tonight?” I made it weirder.
“Come over?”
“My mom’s taking the girls to the Pony Pals Christmas movie. Again. So if you want to come over, we can have snacks and wine. Like friends.”
He eyed me suspiciously. “Fran. I mean it about not making things weird between us.”
“No, yeah, I know. Wine, snacks. What’s weird about that?”
He sighed. “I guess I could help you unpack. Like a friend.”
“That sounds friend-y as fuck, Cass. Let’s do it.”
He gazed at me ruefully. “I have to get back to my throne.”
“Yeah, don’t let me keep you.”
