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“Good morning! Well, it’s a good one for you, that is!”
“It is?” It hadn’t been so far, but Bill seemed pretty adamant.
He chuckled again. Whodidthat? “It surely is! Frances, I have the honor of informing you thatyouhave the honor of being Christmas Valley’s official Light Lighter at the ceremony on Christmas Eve!”
Light Lighter? That’s what they’d gone with? Also— “Oh, God. No. Absolutely not.”
There was a moment of silence from Bill, and then, “Excuse me?”
“I mean, it’s an incredible honor, obviously. Of course it is. But...stage fright! I get terrible stage fright. Nausea, the shakes, vomiting, the whole hog. It’s like the back alley of a club at three a.m.”
“Oh!” He sounded disappointed. “Well,shoot. Kathy didn’t say anything about that when Donna told her.”
Well, fuck. Fuck Bill Fischer and his Christmas cheer sideways with a cactus.
“You already told my mom?” Great. Just great.
“Yes.” He sounded hesitant. “Is that a problem?”
“No,” I said. “It’s no problem at all. And actually, I’ve been working with my doctor, Dr. Stephen Florris—do you know him? He’s wonderful. Anyway, I’ve been working on my stage fright and my other anxiety-related issues. Not just with him, of course. He’s referred me to a specialist. A therapist.”
Stop talking, Frances,a voice in my head said.
Keep going, Frances,Liar Bob encouraged me,you’re doing great!
I kept going. “So, yeah, my stage fright used to be really bad, but I think it’s under control now, and hey, exposure therapy is a thing, right? So I would love to be the Light Lighter, which, as I’ve said, is just an incredible honor.”
“Oh, well that’s just wonderful, Frances!” Bill exclaimed. “I’ll send you all the details. Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas, Bill.”
* * *
I’d just gotten off the phone with Bill and gone back through the Taco Hub drive thru for a second breakfast burrito when Mom called. “Can you come over?”
“Yeah, why? Are the girls okay?”
“They’re fine, I just…want to see you.”
That was definitely suspicious, but I confirmed I’d be there in twenty minutes. I almost told her about Bill’s call, but I figured if the reason she wanted to see me was that Jake had left her or something, then she wasn’t going to want to hear me complain about lighting a Christmas tree.
When I arrived, the girls were coloring on the living room floor. Em warned me in a whisper, “Grandma’s having a rough day,” and I thanked her for the heads up. I found Mom in the kitchen, dressed in leggings, a T-shirt, and tap shoes. She’d pushed the table and chairs against the wall, leaving an open space in front of the island.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Will you practice my routine with me?”
“For the recital?”
“No, Fran, brushing my teeth, putting on my PJ’s, and saying my prayers. Yes, for the recital!”
“No need to get sarcastic.”
“Sorry.” She closed her eyes briefly. “I’m just nervous.”
“Is this because you think Linda will have to bail?” I really, really hoped that wasn’t the case.
She sighed. “No, Linda’s fine now. It wasn’t an ulcer, she just ate at Taco Hub. I keep telling her that place is a walking health code violation, but she swears it’s just a coincidence that she gets sick every time she eats there.”
