AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“And I thought, is this what it will be like every time I want to see my son and grandbabies?”
“I mean, it probably wouldn’t have been.”
“I thought, Fran is so faraway, and he needs his mother. What if it had been something else, what if you’d had a terrible accident, and I couldn’t get up there to see you before you died?”
“Jesus.”
“And then waiting in the hospital…you came out and said both babies were healthy. I just kept thinking…bothbabies.Bothbabies; Fran hastwobabies. He’ll never survive. He’ll never be able to handle two babies.”
“Wow, thanks.”
The warm glow of the tree lights reflected in her damp eyes. “But then I saw you with them. How much you loved them. And you had all those spreadsheets with childcare worked out, and the cost of everything, and the feeding schedules, and you were just…I’d never seen you make a chart before.”
“It was my first time since middle school.”
She finally looked at me with a wavering smile. “You were such a natural. You were so happy. I was so proud of you.” She reached out and cupped my cheek. “Then you met Ben... It just seemed like everything had fallen into place for you.” Her hand slid from my face.
I felt a hollow ache in my gut. That seemed like a million years ago.
“And I realized…you didn’t need me anymore.” Tears welled again. “Nobody needs me.”
“What are youtalkingabout? Of course I needed you. I’ve always needed you.”
“You were happy living three thousand miles away!”
“I don’t think it’s three thousand.”
“Why doesn’t anyone want to becloseanymore? Why doesn’t anyonestay? Why is Jake making turkey when he could be making cookies with us?”
I wasn’t sure which of those to tackle first. So I just pulled her against me and said. “I’m here now. I love you. I need you. Jake would be an idiot not to love you. And he doesn’t seem like an idiot. Just kind of…”
She sniffled. “Kind of what?”
“Bland.”
“He’s not bland!”
“He’s pretty bland.”
“I’m going to tell him you said so.”
“Please don’t.”
She slapped my arm halfheartedly. Her head shifted on my shoulder. “Did you move away because I couldn’t keep your father happy in our marriage?”
“Oh my God, what? No. I don’t even— No.”
“Just checking.” She sounded a little defensive.
“I feel like this is a lot of, like…heavy, dark stuff for Christmastime.”
She slapped my arm again but snorted. “If we can’t be honest at the holidays, when can we be honest?”
“Literally any other time.” I paused. “I think you need a therapist or something.”
“Too expensive.”
“God knowsIcould use one.”
