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“Oh, Cassidy!” Mom sounded on the verge of tears again. “I’m so sorry I’ve let your mother down.”
“Not at all,” Cass said. “Really. Mom’ll get a kick out of dancing with Fran.” He glanced at me, his expression unreadable.
Mom fumbled in her purse for her keys as the sound check began. She handed the keys to Cass, and he hurried off.
Mom watched him go. “That Cassidy is the sweetest boy”
“He hasn’t been a boy for almost two decades, Mom.”
“I know. I’m just so glad you’ve reconnected. It really is the magic of Christmas.”
Now probably wasn’t the time to tell her I’d ruined Cass’s life—again. Instead, I went off to find Linda and practice our steps.
* * *
I wish I could say it was a triumphant performance. That I went out there and wowed the crowd with a perfect routine despite never having formally rehearsed. That Linda and I won first prize and were awarded a giant cardboard check from the mayor of Christmas Valley, in the exact amount we needed to buy the new sled we’d been saving up for before we’d selflessly offered up our allowance to help Pa save the farm.
In reality, as soon as I got onstage, I couldn’t remember any of the routine. I watched Linda out of the corner of my eye and tried to mimic her. But it was a genuinely terrible effort, and it said a lot about me that this was probably only the sixth or seventh most embarrassing moment of my life. Linda shone, though, and that was the important thing. She shone even when I almost dropped her during the dip, because when Mom and I had practiced, I’d been the one getting dipped, and it was hard for me to adjust those expectations on short notice. The applause Linda received was almost worth humiliating myself in front of half the town. Almost.
When I returned to the wings, huffing and panting, Mom wasn’t crying anymore, which was great news. Instead, she was doubled over in her chair, wheezing with laughter. “Oh!” She wiped under her eyes with her fingers. “That’s the most fun I’ve had in months.” She clapped me on the arm. “Thank you, Fran.”
Since no void opened up beneath me and swallowed me whole thus proving the existence of a just and merciful God, I was forced to act like a good sport. “Glad I could cheer you up.”
“Oh, you made mylife!”
“Wonderful.”
“That was…indescribable.”
“How long are you planning to make fun of me for saving your bacon?”
“Forever, Fran. Forever.”
That tracked.
Linda gave me a sweaty hug before going off to change. Bill Fischer came up and shook my hand, saying, “I’m glad to see your exposure therapy re: the old stage fright is working. That was wonderful, Fran! How nifty that we’ll have a bona fide celebrity lighting the tree in town square tomorrow.”
That made me slightly queasy, so I excused myself and strode through the wings toward a door marked ‘EXIT’. I needed some air.
That door turned out to be a fire exit, and I don’t want to say anything more about what happened next.
* * *
“Thank you,” Cass said as we stood shivering in the parking lot beside his Camry. “For dancing with my mom. That really meant a lot to her.”
“I was really bad.”
“For not knowing the routine, you really weren’t.” He bounced on the balls of his feet, breath visible in the night air, the lights of the parking lot catching the few snowflakes swirling around us. “You stepped in so my mom would have someone to dance with, and so your mom wouldn’t have to do something she didn’t want to do. That’s pretty awesome, Fran.”
Pride flickered in me. Ithadbeen pretty awesome. Embarrassing as hell, but fun too. Exhilarating, to see Linda beaming as she showed off all she’d learned. To look out and see even stoic Jake cringing for me, my daughters leaning forward in their seats like if they just wished hard enough, I would suddenly become good at tap dancing and not bestow upon them a humiliating legacy that would follow them through all their years in Christmas Valley.
“Then you evacuated the auditorium,” he added.
I looked across the parking lot at the firetruck, the flashing police car, and all the people standing in front of the school shivering. Jake and Mom were huddled with Ada and Em, who at least looked excited by the turn of events. “Well, let’s be honest, no one could have followed Linda’s and my routine. I wanted to spare them all the shame of trying.”
Cass laughed, loudly enough that the sound carried through the air and seemed to set the snowflakes spinning faster. I was suddenly buoyant. I didn’t know why. I’d ruined my second chance with him. Had hurt him and didn’t know if he’d ever forgive me. But his laugh still made me so happy.
Cass and I stared at each other like idiots, and then his gaze flicked to the school. “Everyone’s going back inside.”
