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“Shut up.”
“Thefiredepartment is here.”
“I said shut up.”
He grinned, and it wasn’t sad anymore. But he finally let go of my hand, which was. “See you tomorrow, Fran.”
“Yeah, you too.” I turned and walked back toward the school, Jake’s tap shoes clicking against the wet pavement.Tap-TAP, tap-TAP, tap-TAP…
I tap-tapped away from the man I’d known and been in love with for most of forever.
Who I wished I could love for more of forever.
For all of it.
Instead, I decided, I would focus on being a better person. On being honest, and putting things right with the people I’d wronged.
And I would start tomorrow with Dr. Stephen Florris.
ChapterTen
I did not start the next day with Dr. Stephen Florris. I started it with Em shaking me hard on the shoulder to wake me up, whispering “Daddy, I feel sick!” and then projectile vomiting all over me and my bed. After getting her calmed down, then in the shower, then back to bed in clean pajamas, then stripping my bedding, shoving it in the washing machine, and finally getting into the shower myself, everything else kind of slipped my mind. It wasn’t even seven in the morning, and I was already frazzled. I’d stayed up later last night than I’d intended, working on Cass’s grant proposal and then emailing it off to him around three a.m., along with a garbled apology for being an asshole, now and two decades ago. I’d tried to pretend that didn’t come with any expectations on Cass’s part—since that would make me even more of an asshole, negating the entire apology in the first place. It didn’t matter anyway because nothing is real if you do it at three a.m. Then, when I’d finally slept, I’d dreamed I was being chased through a petting zoo by a serial killer who wanted to stab me thirty-six times with a sharpened candy cane. Being woken and vomited on had actually been something of a relief.
“Are we still going to the Light Lighting tonight?” Em asked, small and pitiful, when I brought her a cup of flat ginger ale and some crackers.
I took her temperature. She wasn’t running a fever, at least. “If you’re feeling better, we’ll still go.”
“I want to see the lights! I want to have Cookies with Santa! I don’t want to be sick and miss Christmas!”
Ada stirred. “We’re missingChristmas?”
“Nobody is missing Christmas,” I assured them. “Em just has some tummy wobbles.”
“I threw up on Daddy,” Em said.
Ada gasped. “Ew!”
Ada and I made pancakes and brought them to Em in bed. Em ate five and didn’t throw up again, so it seemed safe-ish to say she was recovered. Not recovered enough to get out of bed just yet—I imagined that Christmas miracle would conveniently take place right after Ada and I finished getting the house clean for Santa. Ada sat on Em’s bed and read her a Pony Pals story calledPeachblossom’s Big Adventure, and the mention of Peachblossom was enough to givemethe tummy wobbles.
In fact, all I could think about as Ada and I tidied the house for Santa—and then promptly untidied it making just a few more paper snowflakes to fill some gaps on the windows—was an adorable little Dr. Stephen Florris spawn waking on Christmas morning and bursting into tears when there was no Peachblossom beneath the tree, and her mom was in New Jersey.
Oh, shit.
I checked the time. How was it already lunchtime? OnChristmas Eve? Where the hell were my days going? In the immediate aftermath of my breakup with Ben, minutes had stretched into eons and given me all the time in the world to contemplate how undeserving I was of love, but somehow since arriving in Christmas Valley, time was now stuck on fast forward.
It was okay, though. I’d go and see Dr. Stephen Florris before the Light Lighting, after Mom had picked the girls up. She’d decided to take them because I would be “busy with your ceremonial duties, Fran.” I think she just wanted an excuse to spoil them rotten without me cramping her style.
Anyway, I would have plenty of time to return Peachblossom to Dr. Stephen Florris and apologize for having taken so long to do it. Or...I could just leave her on the doorstep and run away? That actually seemed like a much better option. And Dr. Stephen Florris probably wouldn’t even be at home, because on Christmas Eve everyone would be on Main Street. I was pretty sure if you lived in Christmas Valley and didn’t turn up to Main Street on Christmas Eve, they’d tie you up with tinsel and run you out of town on the rail.
“I hope Grandma picks you guys up on time,” I said. “And I hope Em is feeling a lot better. I have some stuff I need to get done before Christmas.”
“Did you do something naughty, Daddy?” Ada narrowed her perceptive little eyes at me. “Will Santa still come to me and Em if you’ve been naughty?”
“Of course he will,” I said. “And no, I haven’t beennaughty. I just forgot something I had to do. But I’ll do it today, and everything will be fine.”
You tell her, Frances, Liar Bob whispered in my ear.
She selected a pink crayon. “Is it because you did your friend Cass’s homework for him?”
