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Katya gave me a deadpan stare. “Difference between us is I pull it off.”
She had me there.
Dr. Stephen Florris stood a few feet away from us, having been dragged into a conversation with a couple of old men about their prostates. I suddenly had no regrets about not becoming a doctor.
“You’re actually a marshmallow, aren’t you?” I asked, wiggling my fingers at Katya. “I’ll bet the tickle monster could find out.”
“I kill the tickle monster,” Katya said. “Strangle him with own intestines, and you are next.”
And then she looked away, but not before I saw her mouth twitch. Cass was right. She was mellowing.
“Fran! Yoo-hoo, Fran!”
I didn’t know how long Mom had been a yoo-hooer, but I raised my arm and waved at her so she’d stop doing it. She bustled through the crowd, the girls and Jake bringing up the rear. Jake was loaded down with shopping bags, and I couldn’t imagine why. I’d seen Mom’s house. What was there left to buy?
“Daddy!” the girls yelled, flinging themselves at me for hugs.
“Merry Christmas Eve!” Mom pressed a chilly kiss to my cheek. Katya got one too.
I shook Jake’s hand. “Jake. Which number turkey did you decide on?”
“Four,” he said. “Two came close, but four’s skin is crispier.”
“Crispy four’s skin,” I said with a nod, just to see if he heard it. He didn’t. “Excellent.”
Katya’s mouth twitched again.
“It’s a beautiful night.” Jake took a deep, bracing breath of frigid air.
“I’m freezing my balls off,” I told him.
“Hand warmers,” Jake said. “I have one in my pants.”
“Excuse me?”
“Not against the skin,” Jake clarified, as though that had been the issue. “Kathy knitted me a pouch.”
And he threw Mom such a fond look that suddenly I didn’t feel so cold anymore. Mom, who was fussing over the girls, missed it.
“I’m sure she would knit you one too, if you told her your size.”
“I...I will keep that in mind, thanks.”
Thank fuck for the carolers who suddenly burst intoO Holy Nightbeside us, or Jake might have asked for my measurements next.
“Oh, this is exciting, isn’t it?” Mom’s cheeks were pink with cold. “Fran, our Light Lighter!”
“Is huge honor,” Katya said flatly.
“Are you excited, Fran?” Mom raised her eyebrows. “Careful how you answer. It’s not too late to move you back to the naughty list.”
“I wasn’t aware I’d been moved off the naughty list to begin with.”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll be back on it by Christmas morning,” Mom said.
Oh, no doubt.
I stared at the massive Christmas tree beside the stage I’d shortly be standing on. At the moment, a few lights twinkled here and there, like it was showered in glitter. But when me and Santa turned the lights on, it’d be the centerpiece of Main Street. Bruce the Spruce looked a lot taller in person than he had when I was planning this whole thing in my head. Was he twenty feet? Twenty-five? Well, it wasn’t as though I had to get Ruth the chicken right at the top. I just had to sneak her on the tree somewhere visible, then turn her on with the rest of the lights.
