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From the back bedroom came a whinny, followed by a roar, followed by Em’s voice booming,“Everyone is in time-out!”
“I actually ran into Cass today at Save-Rite,” I said.
“Cass, as in...Linda’s son?”
“As in Linda’s son. That’s why I brought him up. Because we were talking about Linda.”
“Oh.” Mom’s tone was neutral.
“That’s how I knew about you and Linda dancing.”
“You talked to him?”
“Sure.”
“I thought you two weren’t speaking.”
“‘Weren’t speaking’ implies that we’ve had occasion to speak but chose not to. I was in Boston for eighteen years.”
“But you were very angry at each other before you left.”
“Well, fortunately, I haven’t spent the last nearly-two-decades holding a grudge. Also, we weren’tangry, we were just...we’d broken up.”
“Ah.” My mother could say volumes with an ‘oh’ or an ‘ah.’ Or a ‘well.’
“He talked too much, was incapable of emotional intimacy, and dumped me because I wouldn’t go to the same school as him. So no, I wasn’t thrilled with him for a while, but we were seventeen.” So that wasn’texactlythe reason Cass had dumped me. But I preferred it to the real reason.
“I thought you were the one incapable of emotional intimacy.”
Harsh. But fair. “We both were.”
“You lied to him about OU.”
Even after all these years, the reminder hurt. Had I told him I hadn’t gotten into OU, rather than admit I was choosing UMass because I cared more about impressing my dad than remaining a part of Cass’s life? Yes, I had. Had he found out I’d lied and then dumped me, hard? Sure had.
“Well, it’s good that you talked,” she said. “You need some friends here.”
“I don’t really plan to befriendswith him. Though—he is going to do Cookies with Santa for the girls. Since he already has a Santa costume and that seemed...easy,” I added in a rush.
“What about Ben?”
I hesitated. “I didn’t think it was appropriate to have him come here. He’s dating someone else now, and it’s just, you know. We have to move on.Hehas to move on. Ihavemoved on. I feel.”
She nodded slowly, giving me a narrow-eyed look. “Well, thank God. I couldn’t believe you were actually gonna fly that putz out here.”
“He’s not a putz, Mom. He was the love of my life.”
“Oh, please. What about Linda’s son?”
“His name’s Cassidy, you don’t have to avoid saying it in front of me, and once again, we were seventeen.”
“I’m just saying, you use the term ‘love of your life’ a little loosely.”
“And you use the term ‘cookie’ a little loosely. NASA should analyze these as, like, possible rocket shell material.” I passed the rest of my gingerbread man to Pebbles, and her bell jingled merrily as she carried it away.
“I’m a terrible baker. We all know this.”
“You’ll have to come over when the girls and I make Christmas cookies. I’ll bake, and you can help them decorate.”
