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This was fucking bliss.
I only knew I’d fallen asleep when I jerked to consciousness and saw sunlight straining behind the drawn shades. Cora clung to me for dear life, but her eyes were open, and oh, how she looked at me. Like I was the only thing she wanted to see. Clarity and tenderness swam in her gaze, sending me stumbling into the past.
My lips ached to find hers. I drew a cleansing breath, and she extracted herself slightly.
“I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“For what?” I rubbed at my eyes, twisting to see the bedside clock. Just after seven a.m.
“I-I don’t know,” she admitted sheepishly, her gaze dropping to my bare chest. “Part of me can’t even believe this is real right now. I thought I was dreaming when I woke up. Am I dreaming, Axel?”
My eyes opened and shut lazily, and I watched her, mesmerized by her just-woken-up perfection. I reached for her chin, swiping my thumb over it. “You tell me. You’re the one who made me get in here.”
“Did I?”
“Mm-hmm.” I wet my bottom lip, gaze dropping to lips. All I wanted was to taste her. No, consume her. From top to bottom. Head to toe. Over and over and over again.
“Then if I’m dreaming, I don’t want to wake up.” She reversed the distance she’d placed between us, snuggling closer.
I grinned, wrapping my arm around her back. And yes, my cock was already at attention. How could it not be? Inches away from the best kisser in the world. This astute siren. The former woman of my fucking dreams. But doubts from last night crashed over me as the inches between us disappeared.
I needed to know the answer to my question.
I needed it more than I needed air. Especially if this woman was going to be sharing my house for any length of time.
“What, Axel?” she asked, tipping her chin up to find my gaze. “You just went somewhere.”
“Yeah. I did.” I closed my eyes, prepping myself to say the words that had been heavy on my heart since I heard the news they were engaged. When I opened them, her gaze waited for mine. “Why did you choose Eli?”
She blinked a few times, squinting as if she didn’t understand the question.
“Instead of me,” I clarified.
This time, she was the one who closed her eyes. She drew a deep breath.
“You still care to hear the answer?” she asked in a watery voice. The tears weren’t far off.
“It’s why I’m asking.”
Her throat bobbed. “Will it change anything?”
“Probably not,” I said. “Though I guess that depends on the answer.”
When she didn’t say anything, I added, “What’s done is done. I’m over it. Your answer will give me nothing but peace of mind.”
She nodded, licking her lips. Then she said, “My father promised he’d ruin you if we got married.”
Something bulky and strange slid through me. I felt both hot and cold at the same time. Completely unnerved but also strangely relieved. “Ruin me?”
“Yes. You, your future, your business. Everything you and your brothers were striving for. He promised me that you’d never be able to achieve anything if I stayed with you.”
I stared into the space beyond the bed as her words sank into me. I’d always assumed Allan had threatened to cut her off. That the possibility of losing her lifestyle had ultimately made her reconsider, even though she’d told me she could tough it out. In my darker moments, I considered the possibility that our three solid and unfathomably deep years together had somehow been a farce she’d executed. Fooling only me into thinking that I was the type of man she wanted, when really she craved the banality and slimy superiority of someone like Eli.
But I’d never consideredthis.
“My parents always wanted me to marry Eli. They made no secret of it. So somewhere during that first year after I broke up with you, I just decided to let them have what they wanted. I don’t know. It seemed easier to just go along with it. I knew I would never love him. I knew we’d never have what I had with you. I didn’t even try.”
I shook my head, swallowing a lump in my throat. “You shouldn’t have done that. We could have found a way.”
