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Cora was silent for a moment, but I didn’t turn to look at her. Instead, I tried to focus on the details of my view from the window. The glint of sunlight off a neighboring skyscraper. The sparkle of the East River. But any attempts at focusing were drowned out by the insistent cadence of my misery. Nothing could overpower it. Not now.
"Should I not come back to the penthouse, either?” she asked quietly.
“I guess that’s up to you,” I said.
“Noted.” She sniffed. “I’ll give you your space. You won’t have to worry about me coming around.”
Tension prickled through me. Every inch of my body wanted to fight. To take this out on someone. To bring the whole damn building down with my frustration and despair. “That’s not what I fucking said. Unless you’re just looking for an easy out.”
“There’s nothing easy about this.”
I twisted to look at her. “So you do want out. Not surprised. The whole ship is burning and sinking.”
She wilted. “Please don’t do this. I know you’re upset—”
“That doesn’t even begin to cover what I am right now,” I spat. “Don’t act like you know.”
“Fine. I’m just going to stop.” She held up her palms like surrendering. “Whatever I say is wrong, so I’ll just stop saying anything.”
“Yes, definitely make this about you,” I muttered, re-focusing on the glittering skyline out my window.East river. Skyscraper windows. Consuming heartbreak.
“I’m not. I’m just trying to give you what you want. Whatever it is that will help. I’ll stop talking. I’ll disappear. I’ll move out. Whatever you need.”
“Ahhh, there we go.” I stuffed my hands in my pockets and turned back toward the desk. “You disappearing is always the solution, isn’t it?”
“Sometimes I feel like maybe you would have been better off if I had just stayed away,” she blurted. The sheen of tears in her eyes told me she wasn’t joking. “Now that we started something again, look what happened. What if that’s the reason it’s all falling apart?”
My heart thumped with an angry passion. I wanted to kick her out of the office as much as I wanted to pin her to the desk and fuck the pain away. Thoughts formed a logjam inside me. Pain spawned more pain, and I was adrift. Fucking drowning in the awful sensations flooding my entire being.
“I guess you know best, Cora Margulis,” I bit out. “If you need an excuse to disappear, then take it.” Her offer rang like defeat to my ears, and I hated that her loyalty could crumple at the slightest provocation. Not that this provocation wasn’t intense. No, it was a pretty fucking big provocation. But here we were, less than ten minutes in, and she was ready to bolt.
“I’m not trying to disappear—” she started, emotions choking her voice.
“Then what are you doing?” We stood ten feet apart, but it could have been a mile.Tell me you’ll stay. Tell me you’ll fucking stay.I didn’t know how to come back to earth. I couldn’t stop goading her. The drumbeat of my anxiety was going to burn every bridge in my life, and I didn’t know how to stop it. “I need people who are on my team. Because if you’re not on my team, you’re working against me. If you’re working against me, then just get the fuck out of here.”
Cora pressed a hand to her mouth, a strange noise escaping her, like she’d swallowed a sob. She stood shakily.
“Exactly. There we go. Go on.” I made a shooing motion with my hands.
“You’re being unreasonable,” she said in a low voice. “But I’ll give you what you want. You want someone to blame this on, so go for it. I’m all yours. You got lucky—I’m used to being a punching bag.”
She snatched up her purse and headed for the door. I watched her go, knowing this was all wrong. This wasn’t the answer. It wasn’t the solution. But I couldn’t stop or alter it.
The only thing that made sense was to rage until I felt better.
Cora had taken the bait. She’d let me goad her into making things worse.
And once the door clicked shut behind her, I realized I’d gotten what I wanted.
If I had been low before, this was rock bottom.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CORA
Axel wanted space?
He’d fucking get it. But not for long.
