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I’d always been good at schooling myself around her, at making myself small. But after what happened with Damian and after so many years of being painted as the villain, I’d fucking had it.
“Tara, I’m not even sure why you’re here tonight if all you’re gonna do is talk down to me,” I said, my cheeks heating up as soon as the words had left my mouth.
Her brows shot up and she looked over at me slowly. “Excuse me? What sass was that coming from your mouth?”
“It’s no secret you hate me,” I said, sniffing. “So why spend an evening with me? That’s all. Honest question.”
“It sounds like you’re telling me to leave,” she said, a hard edge to her voice. The tone sent ice spreading through my limbs.
“I’m not. Just asking an honest question.”
“I’m here for Jer and Mom,” Tara clarified. “You’re just an extra that nobody asked for.”
“Tara,” Jeremy scolded softly. “Why you gotta be like that?”
“I’m not being like nothin’,” she claimed, jamming her spoon into the slaw.
“You act like that, she ain’t gonna help us,” Jeremy warned in a low voice.
“Was she helping us before? Musta missed that part,” Tara muttered, tugging the fridge open and storing the bowl inside.
“Quit being a bitch,” I spat out. I regretted the words instantly, but they’d flown from my lips without even thinking. I never talked to Tara like that, because I knew what the consequences would be. But I’d reached my bullshit limit sometime back in New York.
“I’m being the bitch? Miss Hoity Toity Money Bags waltzes in here in these expensive dresses trying to tellmeI’m being the bitch.” Tara tugged a gallon of milk from the fridge and slammed it on the counter. The lid popped off, spraying milk all over the cabinets.
“Jesus, Tara,” Jeremy said, grabbing for a towel.
“I suppose you’ll blame that on me too,” I said snidely.
“Why wouldn’t I? Your attitude made me do it,” she shouted. “Wouldn’t have sprayed shit if you’d kept your mouth shut.”
The front door open and closed, and footsteps approached the kitchen.
“I got a twelve pack,” Mom said, wedging herself between Tara and Jeremy to reach the fridge. She opened up the case and cracked a beer before putting it inside. “Feel free, if you want one. What do you drink now, Jessa? Cocktails only?”
“Mostly wine,” I said, my whole body vibrating and hot. I wanted to punch Tara so much. I wanted to scream until my vocal cords disintegrated. But more than that, I wanted her to shut the hell up forever.
“I think I should leave,” I said abruptly, smoothing the front of my dress. “Tara and I mix as well as bleach and ammonia, and I don’t want to poison the air for the rest of you. This is supposed to be a fun evening, not miserable.”
“Hey, we’re having fun,” Mom said, sipping her beer. “Ain’t we?”
“You’ve been waiting to leave since you got here,” Tara muttered.
“Tara, knock it off.” Jeremy’s fatherly voice came out gruff and annoyed. He turned to me, his hands covered in burgundy marinade. “Jessa, don’t leave. Or at least stay long enough to hear me out about something.”
“What is it?” I crossed my arms, trying my best to ignore the seething, miserable vortex of Tara behind him.
“I’ve been thinking. Since you lost your job and you’re kinda floating right now, I was thinking maybe you and Mom could get a place here in town for a bit. Or closer to Louisville, if you wanted that big-city feel.”
“She won’t do it. You’re wasting your breath,” Tara muttered.
“It would be good for everyone,” Jeremy went on, raising the volume of his voice as though this would counteract Tara’s presence behind him. “You’d be back here where you belong. You and Mom could catch up, share groceries, all that good stuff.”
“I’d be into it, sissy, what do you think?” Mom lifted her beer can in my direction. “Just like old times.”
Old times. Like when I’d have to do my homework from the waiting area of the Emergency Room, because whatever prescription pill she was abusing didn’t mix well with alcohol. Or like when her ex forced himself on me when I was a junior in high school. Dread washed over me. “Well, the idea sounds nice,” I started, but my words stalled. A blockade had formed. I couldn’t continue lying.
“See?” Jeremy said, looking back at Tara.
