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I hated mornings so much, I spent most of my nights awake and avoiding daylight. And last night, I’d had a bit too much to drink.Again.I knew I needed to stop this, but it was hard to find the motivation to do so. Not when I had so much to stress over.
My phone vibrated in the pocket of my dress pants. I heaved a sigh, steeling myself for whatever was about to start my day.Please don’t be an explosion. Please don’t be some other new secret relative.
I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen. Jeremy. Not what I’d expected. I swiped to answer, curiosity pumping through me.
“Hello?”
“Hey, buddy. How you doing?”
I tucked the phone between my ear and shoulder and continued my quick clean-up session of the room. I liked to think I wasn’t a slob, but this floor begged to differ. “Just heading into work. What about you?”
Jeremy laughed. “Another day in paradise, right?”
I’d imagined paradise a hell of a lot different from this. Which was ironic, because plenty of people saw my life from the outside and probably assumed Iwasliving in paradise.
“Hey listen,” he went on, “I don’t want to hold you up. I just wanted to check on Jessa. Like, I want to make sure she’s working out for you.”
My gut started the slow squeeze. This wasn’t boding well for setting a good tone for the day. “Why do you ask?”
Jeremy sighed. “Well, she sent me some messages yesterday that kinda got me thinking…”
Fuck.I rubbed my forehead, images from Monday night coming back to me. I’d stayed up late drinking Monday and Tuesday night precisely toerasethose images from my mind. Her relaxed and laughing in my living room, flanked by Axel and Cora, was an image I couldn’t let myself get attached to. It fulfilled something too deep, too intimate, inside of me. And I knew better than to hope for anything beautiful like that. Not with a potential prison sentence hanging over my head. Jessa’s warmth and bubbliness didn’t fit into my life, and I needed her to get the message ASAP.
“I’m just worried she’s crashing and burning, you know?” Jeremy went on. “Like, you’d be honest with me, right? Don’t sugarcoat it cuz she’s my sister. Give it to me straight. I need to know.”
I cleared my throat, unsure where to begin. Jessa’s work performance was fine. It was her interpersonal performance that needed work; she excelled a little too much in that department.
“Well, how can I say this…” I started.
“Oh, God. I knew it.” Jeremy tutted. “You know, I was worried that this situation with Mom was gonna affect her. Being so far away and all, she tries to act tough, she really does, but I know it’s been hard for her.”
I blinked. I knew their mom had been in and out of rehab, but my memories were fuzzy. All my brain power was actively in use worrying over the SEC investigation and whether or not my entire future was ruined.
“The last I heard…she was in rehab?” I ventured.
“Yeah. Been there for almost two months. She’ll be sprung soon if she keeps up the good work. We’re hoping she’ll be ssettled in a halfway house by Thanksgiving. But nobody knows where she’s gonna go after that. Tara wants Jessa to come back to Kentucky and stay with our mom. Live with her, keep an eye on her, you know? But with Jessa being up there…it’s just been a little tense.”
“Does Jessa want to go home and help?” I asked, fear ping-ponging through me.
“I think part of her does. The part of her that still loves her mom. Tara thinks she can convince her to come back. But those two butt heads like nobody’s business. Always fighting about splitting the bill for rehab and who’s gonna pay for the groceries once she’s out and all that shit. I give what I can, you know? I make good money for me and mine. But it’s harder for Tara. She’s got three kids and that deadbeat husband of hers. Personally I think she’s just hoping Jessa’s gonna be the sugar mama for our own mom. A mama sugar mama.” Jeremy laughed. “Is that a thing? I’ve never heard of it if it is.”
I bit back a smile. You could wring gossip and news out of Jeremy like a wet washcloth. Took hardly any work at all. But now I knew a lot more about what was happening back at the Walton homestead. I’d purposely avoided diving into that whirlpool, because I knew that the deeper I dove, the harder it would be to get myself out of the water.
And Jessa’s waters were far too warm and inviting.
“Dang, Jeremy. I’m sorry about all of that. But listen, I can tell you one thing for sure. Jessa is a doing a great job. She’s not crashing and burning.” I really meant that. I picked up one last stray set of dress pants from the floor and tossed them in the laundry basket. Then I straightened my back in front of the mirror, looking myself over. “She’s an asset to our company. I have no plans of letting her go.”
Jeremy heaved a sigh of relief. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear that.”
“She’s been great,” I told him. “Honestly.”
“Just keep an eye on her for me, would ya?” His concern still rang deeply. “She needs a friend in New York. That’s why I’m glad she’s got you.”
My gut cinched tighter, forming the knot I’d been trying to avoid starting my day with. Too late. Jeremy would never know how deeply and unsettlingly ironic this request was. Two days after I’d asked Jessa tonotbe my friend. My eyes fluttered shut and I shook my head at the heavens.
“You got it, buddy,” I told him.
Because I was nothing if not a rescuer.
