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“Let’s see how the night goes,” I told him, wrapping my arms around his neck. “If you’re busy making important connections and raising tons of money, we should stay as long as we can.”
He grunted, his gaze lingering on my cleavage. “You’re right.” He leaned forward like he was going to kiss me, then he caught himself. “Fuck, this is going to be hard.”
As if on cue, I reached between his legs, seeking the hardness I assumed was already waiting for me. I found his half-hard dick and rubbed him through his dress pants. His eyes went hooded.
“Be careful tonight, Jessa.” His voice had a warning note in it I hadn’t heard before. “I’ve done a really good job of sticking to the rules. But when you look like this and we’ve been toying with each other like we have…” He wet his bottom lip, leaning closer to me. “There’s only so much more a man can take before he completely fucking snaps.”
His words sent an electric chill through my body. I wanted him to snap. I wanted us both to break in two and rejoin as one, something altogether new.
“I won’t distract you,” I said sweetly.
“Impossible. You distract me even when you do nothing.”
“Well, that’s ayouproblem, Damian.”
His eyes went hooded again. “Let’s just stay here. Come on, Jessa. We can have plenty of fun in your apartment.”
I laughed. “Absolutely not. Now let’s get out of here before I actually agree with you.” I pushed him toward the door, my nipples like diamond points and my pussy screaming for attention as I shuffled out the door behind him. He wasn’t wrong. We’d been existing in a little fantasy bubble at work, where the only acceptable activities were insanely hot makeout sessions and his fingers buried inside me. During our video chats, I’d watched him jack off, and he’d watched me finger myself, but we hadn’t done it in person yet.
This was the slowest, most confusing zigzag to home plate I’d ever experienced. We’d only agreed to this to protect ourselves. But at this point, it seemed more damaging tonotgo all the way.
Damian and I swept into the waiting SUV like incognito celebrities. Legs awaited us with a smile and his Brooklyn greeting—“Heeeeey, there’s our girl”—and then we were off. The flashes of the Manhattan skyline beyond the windows of the vehicle barely registered as Damian and I sank into our own private world. Thigh squeezes, meaningful looks, winking at each other until we dissolved into laughter. We were simultaneously mature, grown adults and teens on my father’s couch again. I loved the way we could dance between these two worlds: the one we shared from having grown up together and the vast new world that stretched all around us as adults, foreign and limitless.
It struck me then, as we wove through the streets of New York, that Damian rooted me. He made it safe for me to stretch upward, outward, beyond. Not just in a financial sense, but in a grounding sense. We knew each other, we’d shared the same air growing up.
And by acting as my roots, he made it that much safer for me to fall even more in love with him.
By the time we got to the event, it was both the corset and Damian making it hard to breathe. With one last caress of my ass, Damian helped me out of the car. We smiled at each other, walking down the red carpet toward the main doors together, but not holding hands. We didn’t need to hold hands, because every time he looked at me, I felt the tiny kiss he was giving me in his head.
Christ, I was head over heels for this man.
As soon as we swept through the main doors, it was go time. After the elevator ride to the sixty-fifth floor, I joined forces with the venue consultant, Meredith, to review what remained to be done. As we toured the Rainbow Room, I could barely see past the beauty and glamour to focus on the tasks at hand. Floor-to-ceiling windows looked out over the city, offering a legendary view of the skyline, the glittery, beaded curtains that matched my dress hanging halfway down the windowpanes. Two dozen tables dotted the huge room, each one boasting small glass vase centerpieces with white blooms spilling out.
“Almost everything has been set up according to the plan,” Meredith said as we paused by the low stage at one end of the room, where Damian would make his speech and presentations would be held. An enormous chandelier hung in the center of the room, yanking at my attention with its billion pieces of glinting crystal. How could I focus on anything with this much opulence around me?
“But we still need to figure out where exactly to position the screen,” Meredith said, gesturing at the flat screen which would showcase images featuring the brothers’ positive impact on the community at large.
“Ahh yes,” I murmured, tapping my chin pensively as I relished this feeling.Belongingin one of the most legendary spaces of New York. I’d planned this event. And now we were going to sit back and fucking enjoy it. “Let’s have it in front of the podium as people arrive, and just before the presentations start, we’ll move it out of the way.”
We worked on finalizing a few more of the details. I glanced over at Damian on occasion, both because I was curious about what he and Axel were talking about so intensely and to see if I could catch another heated look from him.
But I couldn’t catch his eye. He and Axel weren’t just having an intense conversation now. They were looking at something on Axel’s phone, shaking their heads. My stomach wrenched, though I wasn’t entirely sure why.
Meredith and I went around the room assessing each area. With one hour to showtime, tantalizing scents wafted from the nearby kitchen doors. The menu was the stuff of my fantasies—Montauk scallops over wilted leeks, osso buco with creamy saffron polenta, to name a few items on the night’s dinner menu. That didn’t even cover the sweets—apple crumble souffle, blackberry cheesecake, fondue spilling from hidden spots, equal parts decoration and dessert. Every inch of me was desperate to capture this evening from every angle, along with every taste.
But every time I got too excited, I could hear the derision spilling from my sister’s lips, echoing through my head like a scream in a cathedral.
Look at you. Flaunting all this wealth, having such a good time while the woman who gave you life is living in a halfway house infested with roaches. What a great daughter you are. You selfish fucking bitch.
Thanks, Imaginary Tara. She always knew how to knock me down a peg or ten. I wrung my hands, flipping between beguiled and regretful. Proud of myself and hating myself. This old familiar cycle that I was so incredibly tired of. And this corset only made breathing through the anxiety so much harder.
When I next looked at Damian, I could tell something was seriously wrong. He and Axel were reacting to…something. Axel pointed downward forcefully. I excused myself from Meredith, hurrying over to them as though pulled there by forces beyond my control.
Damian rubbed at his cheek as I approached. He looked at me, something intense swirling in his gaze.
“What’s up, guys?” I asked suspiciously. “Are we ready to start this party?”
“No,” Damian said with a frown. “This party might not be starting at all.”
