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I’m scared shitless, for many reasons. And tomorrow is going to be even worse.
But right now, in this moment, lying here beside Hadley, I feel calm. And all I can do is hold onto that feeling for dear life and hope it doesn’t destroy me.
And that my father doesn’t either.
41
HADLEY
I’m havingthe best dream. My sisters and I are hanging out by a swimming pool, laughing and joking around. My mom is lounging in a chair, reading a book, and my dad’s grilling on the barbeque. Everyone is so happy and the sad part is, it really isn’t a dream. It’s a memory from before my mom died. A happy moment. At least I think so until a strange man shows up, dressed in a black suit, along with my dad’s partner. They exchange a few words and then my dad pales as he goes out in the front yard to talk to them.
“What’s going on?” I ask my mom. “Who’s that man in the black suit?”
She sets her book down and smiles at me, but worry reflects in her eyes. “A man your father works with.”
“That guy’s a cop?” I ask, climbing out of the pool.
She smiles and pats the chair beside her. “Why don’t you come sit down by me and dry off? Then I’m going to tell you a little story about a girl who was so strong she could do just about anything.”
For some reason, I think she might be lying to me about the man, but I don’t know why she would.
Besides, my mom isn’t a liar. Neither is my dad…
My eyelids lift open and I awake to a dark room. At first, I experience one of those panicking moments where I have no clue where I am. It doesn’t make me feel any calmer when I realize someone is lying beside me with their arm tucked under my head.
I start to roll away in fear, but then moonlight casts across their face.
Blaise? I slept beside Blaise?
The previous few hours of events rush back to me. How I broke apart in front of Blaise, sobbed my eyes out. I must have fallen asleep during my breakdown.
Lovely.
I should probably get up, run home and hide after crying in front of him. Instead, I lie very still and watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful with his lips parted, his breathing soft. I’m unsure why I do what I do next. And if anyone asks me, I’ll deny it ever happened. But I find myself reaching forward and combing my fingers through the strands of his hair. I instantly understand the fascination he has with playing with my hair. It feels good playing with his hair, in a really weird way. Comfortable even.
That revelation sends panic rushing through me, and I start to pull away when his eyes abruptly open. He blinks a few times, then stares at me with question marks filling his eyes.
“Um…” Warmth floods my cheeks as I struggle for an excuse to give him as to why I was petting him like a dog while he slept.
He starts to smile, his lips parting to say who knows what—something that will probably get us arguing. Fortunately, my phone starts ringing.
Quickly sitting up, I dig my phone out, but by the time I get it, it’s already stopped ringing.
Blaise sits up beside me, rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?”
“Just after five.” I tap open my missed calls, wondering who’d be calling me this early. Then my heart leaps inside my chest. “Londyn.” My fingers tremble as I call her back.
“Hey!” she answers after only one ring. “Why aren’t you at the house?”
“I’m next door…” I trail off. “Wait. How do you know I’m not at the house?”
“Because we’re there right now, freezing our butts off,” she says. “So get your ass over here and let us in. Then you can tell us why in the heck you’re sleeping over at the Porterson’s house.”
I’d be more embarrassed, but they’re home! My sisters are back in my life!
But then my excitement fizzles as I wonder… “Wait. Why are you guys home?”
“Yeah, I’m not really sure why,” Londyn replies in confusion. “This lady just showed up about an hour ago, said we could go home, and then she drove us here and dropped us off. She didn’t even wait to see if we got inside… It was so weird.”
