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“I’m sorry.” I chew on my thumbnail with my eyes on Payton, tears threatening to pour out of my eyes. I suck them back, forcing myself to be strong.
You’ve got this.
You’ve always got this.
It used to be that simple. Just a small mental pep talk to get me through tough times. But this time it doesn’t work, and a few tears escape my eyes.
I hastily swipe them away with the sleeve of my shirt, and then suck in an uneven breath.
“What’s wrong?” Londyn asks worriedly. “And what’s that weird beeping noise in the background.”
My gaze travels to the heart monitor. “I need to tell you something, and I need you to stay calm while I do, okay?”
“Okay.” A beat of silence stretches by. “Had, whatever it is, just tell me, because your silence is freaking me out.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry about all this.”
“About what?” she bites out in panic. “Just spit it out.”
I take a deep breath. “I found Payton at the party. She had a needle in her arm, and she was so pale. She’s unconscious …” My voice cracks. “I’m at the hospital with her right now, and I think you guys should probably come here.”
“Oh my God,” Londyn whispers shakily. “Is she …? Please tell me she’s not dead.”
“No, she’s alive. She’s just unconscious.” I lower my head and take a few breaths. “The nurse said, if she did heroin, she might be out for a while. They’re doing some bloodwork to make sure that’s what she took. I’m assuming it is.” I pause to take another breath. “But I need to warn you that a police officer has been asking me questions about our home life and how I got custody of you guys. She seems suspicious of the whole thing, and I don’t blame her. And while I don’t want to say this, I think you guys need to know that it might turn into a problem. Stuff like this can get kids taken away from their parents, and I’m an eighteen-year-old guardian, so …” I smash my lips together, battling back the tears.
“It’s not your fault Pay did this,” Londyn says in a quiet tone. “Whatever happened to her while we were at the group home had to have pushed her over the edge. You know this isn’t the first time she’s done something like this.”
“I know she’s done drugs before, but Lon …” My gaze skims across Payton’s pale face, her lips are still so blue. “This isn’t like the other times. She shot up, and she did too much. And the party she was at …” I trail off as Alex ducks back through the curtain with a cup of coffee in his hand. His presence surprises me, since I thought he would’ve left by now. “Look, we’ll talk about this more when you guys get here. Just get Bailey and come here.”
“We’ll be right there. But just so you know, I’m not going to let you blame yourself for this,” she says then hangs up.
Sighing, I end the call then massage my temples.
“Who was that?” Alex asks as he plops down into a chair beside mine and hands me the coffee.
“Thanks.” I take a sip. “That was Londyn. I was telling her what happened and that she needs to get Bailey and come here.” I glance at the clock then back at Alex. “You know you don’t have to be here, right? I mean, I appreciate you helping me find Payton and driving us here, but I don’t expect you to stick around.”
“Trying to get rid of me, huh?” he teases, reclining in the chair.
I shake my head and take another sip of the coffee. “I just don’t want you to feel obligated to be here. I know you told the officer we were friends, but we both know that’s not true.”
“I never feel obligated to do anything.” He stretches out his legs in front of him. “I’m just sticking around until your sisters show up.”
I give him a questioning glance. “Why?”
He shrugs, fiddling with a chain dangling from his belt loop. “My and Rhyland’s mom used to do this shit all the time, and I can’t even count the number of times we spent sitting in a hospital waiting room, waiting for her to wake up. The thing that made dealing with it a bit easier was that my brothers were with me. No one should go through this sort of stuff alone, even a girl who annoys the hell out of me and who punched me in the face.” He grins, but I can’t even work up a smile.
My heart aches for him a bit, and I can’t help thinking of his own drug problem. Has he ever been in Payton’s situation? Does he feel bad for the things he’s done?
“I haven’t,” he says over the beeping of the heart monitor.
I glance at him.Did I say something aloud?
“Haven’t what?”
“Ended up in the hospital. I’ve come close, but I’ve never pushed myself that far yet,” he says, looking at me.
“I didn’t … I never asked you that.”Unless I said my thoughts aloud.
