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He ran a hand through his hair and got even louder. “I was going to go somewhere, but I just ran into you first.”
“No way. You weren’t ‘going somewhere’ at”—I turned his wrist so I could glance at his watch—“twelve twenty-eight. You were waiting for something. Someone. Me.”
“Of course I was!” he shouted.
A door behind us swung open, and the mom of the little girl who’d swiped Lindsay’s gown popped out into the hall. “Will you two shut up? Go to your room!” She flapped her hand, shooing us.
“We will. Sorry, ma’am,” Josh said in a low voice, placing a finger to his lips in a hushing gesture. He put his arm around my shoulders and steered us to my door.
“You admit it, then,” I loudly whispered at him.
He leaned against the wall. “I do. I admit it. Now let me in so we can talk about it.”
My key card was already in my hand. I unlocked the door and led the way into the room without thinking. Once inside, I slumped against the door, my mind suddenly crackling with the realization that I’d letJoshinside my solitary sanctum.
“Oh, no. What have I done?” I said aloud.
Josh paused halfway in his journey toward the desk chair. “What?”
I put my hand to my head and groaned. “I’ve gone and let you into my room! I wasn’t thinking!”
He rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I’m going to murder you.”
“Oh, great. Thank you. I’m so glad. That’s really comforting.”
He completed his descent to the seat. “It should be comforting. You’ve known me for years. That guy you went out with tonight—you’ve known him, what? Twenty-four? Thirty-six hours? You really should’ve been more worried about him murdering you.”
I dropped my purse on the bed and sank down beside it. “Tanner’s not a murderer. He’s a model. Super attractive.”
He rubbed his temple. “Murderers can be attractive, too, damn it.”
“Only on HBO. And the CW.” I threw an arm over my head and lay back on the pillowy duvet.
He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs. “Will you be serious? Something could’ve happened tonight. Something bad. It makes me sick that you’d be so unconcerned about your personal safety.” His five o’clock shadow shaded his jaw. I had a terrible urge to go over to him and run my hand across it just to feel the sharp press of his stubble against my palm.
I propped myself up on my elbows. “Whatisthis?” I scrambled back up to a sitting position so I could wave an all-encompassing hand over his whole deal instead of his distracting face. “What’s going on here? We haven’t spoken in years, and you’re suddenly all up in my business?”
He took a deep breath, and his shoulders dropped like some of the air had gone out of him. “I was worried about you. When you told me earlier that you were going to dinner with some guy you just met—here, since you arrived in New York—I worried. You were gone for hours.” The corners of his eyes pinched with some unnamed emotion, and the edges of his full lips turned down.
My gut was such a jumble of emotions I wasn’t sure what I should be feeling first. Angry that Josh was acting like he had any say whatsoever on what I did in my life. Perversely happy that the man who’d broken my heart five years ago but apparently still had stubble I wanted to caress had worried about me. Frustrated that he was here at all, disrupting my Josh-free world with his Josh-ness.
“Thank you for your concern, but I’ve been managing my love life quite well on my own in the five years you’ve been gone.”
He rubbed his jaw and leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. “I’m sorry,” he said without looking at me.
The me of five years ago would’ve longed to hear those words from him. The me of now didn’t care nearly so much.
“What for?” My tone was dull. It showcased very well how much I did not care.
His head gave a micro-shake. “For leaving like I did.”
“Water under the bridge. I never think about it.”
A pained expression came into his eyes. “I do.”
His words hung in the air. An ache started in my chest. The kind of ache I’d endured for a long, long time after he’d left for London. I wouldn’t let myself feel that way again. I stood up.
“Again, thank you for your concern, but as you can see, there was really no cause. So if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get to bed. As you so helpfully pointed out, it’s well past my bedtime.”
