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“Brick!” I yelled.
“What?” Brick slapped a hand on the table. The silverware jumped. Josh and I were squished further as Brick shifted, and I experienced profound understanding of what a gift it was to be three-dimensional. Oh, how I missed it.
“Nothing! We’re just talking about this wall.” I knocked a knuckle against the chunk of it I was suctioned to. “It’s stone or brick, I think.”
Brick turned back around, managing to push himself farther into the booth and squishing us still more. This time I was sure it was punitive.
“You’re terrible,” Josh whispered to me. His wrist brushed mine as he shifted a micro degree in his seat. Goosebumps rose on my arm in response.
“Thank you.” I smiled at him. “Being terrible is something I’m very good at.”
He shook his head, his eyes suddenly serious. “Never. You’ve never been terrible. That was just me.”
My heart snagged on his words, and the ache in my core started up again. “What do you mean?”
A muscle near his jaw tightened. “I never should have left. You.”
Theyouechoed, filling up the air waves between us. I shrugged and looked away, which was hard to do, pinned as I was between Josh and my grabby new boyfriend, the wall. “I know why you did. It was the job you always wanted. What you’d worked so hard toward. The chance to travel. To rise in your career. Everything. It’s not like you and I were really anything to each other anyway.”
He closed his eyes in a long blink. When he opened them, pain had crept in. “Of course we were.”
“It was one kiss.” My words hung in the air. Did he remember it like I did? Still feel it on his lips and in his soul? One kiss. One kiss that had packed a lifetime of longing into it. One kiss that could have changed the course of our lives. One kiss that didn’t do anything but destroy me.
He shook his head. “After being best friends our whole lives. That kiss was the start of something—something epic—and we both knew it. But I denied it. I walked away.”
I waved it off with a nonchalance I didn’t feel. “Bygones.”
“No.” He twisted in his seat and propped his arm up on the banquette behind me. It helped give me an extra millimeter of space. It did not help my galloping heart. “It can’t be ‘bygones.’ It’s still there. There’s something here between us.”
I put a hand on his arm. It was solid and warm beneath my hand, the muscle firm. I let my hand drop. “I can honestly say, Josh, there’s nothing here between us. Nothing would fit.”
“Don’t do that,” he said, his voice ratcheting up with urgency. “Don’t erase the one true moment we’ve shared since I’ve seen you again.” He picked up my hand and squeezed it. He took a deep breath, seeming to rein in his self-control, and rubbed a circle with his thumb on the back of my hand. “Things are different now. I—”
“If I could get everyone’s attention.” Lindsay stood at the front, her voice rising above the din as she clinked her wineglass with a fork. A waiter brought out a stepstool, and Lindsay stood on the middle rung. Josh released my hand and turned for Lindsay’s announcement, his mouth set in a line. My pulse raced. I knew that look. He wasn’t done talking. The thought both excited and infuriated me. The room settled down.
“Thank you all for being here tonight,” Lindsay continued, smiling. “We’re so grateful you could help us celebrate our love and the lifelong commitment Troy and I will make to each other.” Troy left the bar and strode the few steps to stand behind Lindsay. He put a hand on her shoulder, and she smiled lovingly at him. “Sorry about the tight squeeze for some of you.” She looked right at Josh and me, and some people chuckled. “The restaurant was short a couple of tables. Thank you all for being so accommodating. And now let’s celebrate!” She raised her glass, and a chorus of “hear, hear” and raised glasses followed. With our arms glued together, Josh and I didn’t even try. Troy swooped in and kissed his bride-to-be on the mouth. Everyone cheered.
“They’re so in love,” Josh marveled, staring at my sister and Troy.
I nodded. “They really are. It’s a good thing they found each other.”
Josh bobbed his head, still studying them. He looked like he hoped to glean some secret of life or love or the future from the observation. Finally he tore his attention away from the happy couple and faced me.
“Do you love him?” he asked, his gaze square on mine.
My heart squeezed. “Love who? Troy?”
He rolled his eyes. “No. This guy you’re seeing. The one you only met three days ago.”
I glanced down at my hands, but my attention was caught byhishand, which was lying on the table, palm up, his fingers barely curved as if he were waiting for my hand to hold.
“I don’t know yet,” I answered honestly.
He sighed. “But you could.”
“Yeah. I could.” Strangely I didn’t feel as happy as I should have saying something like that. Maybe it was the look on Josh’s face. The sudden feeling that happiness with Tanner and me somehow equaled sadness for Josh.
“How’s London?” I asked, even though I’d hated the city ever since it had taken him away from me.
