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Ian sighed and motioned to his second date.
A pretty blonde glided toward him. "Hi, remember me? I'm Moonbeam."
"How do ye do?" He sat and reset the timer.
Moonbeam settled across from him. "Well, I guess I should tell you about myself. I'm an Aquarius."
"That's nice."
"I was born in 1950. My name was Mary. Boring, I know. My parents were like so square. I ran away when I was sixteen, so I could protest the war. I really hate war."
This might be a bad time to mention he was a warrior. Ian noticed Gregori was spinning Toni in circles.
"I went to San Francisco, of course." Moonbeam fiddled with the beads around her neck. "That's where it was happening, you know."
"What was happening?" Ian asked.
"Everything, man. Flower power. Make love, not war. I'm like totally opposed to violence of any kind."
"Then ye would never manipulate or cheat a mortal for yer own gain?"
"God, no. That's like so damaging to your karma."
Ian nodded. This one might have potential. At least she appeared to have good morals.
"So there I was, tripping on acid and enjoying a perfectly good orgy, when this guy comes out of nowhere and bites me on the neck! I mean, I was like totally bummed out when I woke up dead." Ian blinked. "I see." His gaze wandered back to Toni. Every now and then, when someone teleported in, she would jump to face them. Perhaps teleportation frightened her? If that was the case, he should drive her home. The thought of escaping the club sounded excellent.
The timer rang, and he realized Moonbeam was still talking. He stood. "I'm afraid our time is up." "Okay. Peace." She hugged him and glided away.
Ian motioned for Cindy to come forward. She launched into a long account of her past two hundred and thirteen boyfriends, while Ian's attention slid back to the dance floor. The music slowed, and Gregori took Toni into his arms. Dammit, he'd told Gregori to watch her, not maul her.
After two more interviews, Vanda sauntered toward him, grinning. "I did it! It's all set up." His stomach knotted with apprehension as he rose to his feet. "What did ye do?"
"Don't look so worried. It'll be great. Tomorrow night at midnight, Corky Courrant is coming here!"
"The barracuda?" Everyone knew the reporter from Live with the Undead was vicious. "Why is she coming here?"
"To interview you!" Vanda announced.
Ian stepped back. "Vanda, no. Hell, no."
"It'll be fun! Trust me."
He shook his head. "No good can come from this. The woman is a monster."
"Don't be such a wuss!" Vanda poked him in the chest. "Corky's show is broadcast all over the world. Every Vamp on earth will see you. And see my club. This is brilliant!"
"What's brilliant?" Gregori walked toward them with Toni.
"Ian's going to be on Live with the Undead," Vanda boasted. "They're coming tomorrow to do the interview."
"You're going to be on television?" Toni asked.
"On DVN," Vanda said.
"Digital Vampire Network," Ian explained. "We get it at the townhouse. But I'm no' doing the show."
"Of course you are," Vanda hissed. "I've been working on this for hours. It's all set."
"Be careful with Corky Courrant," Gregori warned.
"Who is she?" Toni asked.
"The star of the show." Gregori splayed his hands in front of his chest. "She has the most humongous"--Ian elbowed him--"commercials," Gregori finished.
"Were ye ready to go home?" Ian asked Toni. "I could drive you."
Vanda grabbed his arm. "You're not going anywhere. All these women are waiting for their chance to date you."
"I can teleport Toni," Gregori offered.
"But she might no' want to teleport," Ian protested.
"I'll be fine." Toni gave him a reassuring smile. "I can't wait to see you on TV."
Ian sighed. Maybe he should go through with it. He didn't want to disappoint Vanda or Toni. And how bad could it be? "Gregori, can I have a word with you in private?"
"Sure." Gregori walked away with him. "What's up?"
"I--uh--thought ye might give me some advice."
"Are your dates not going well?" Gregori whispered.
"I feel like I'm conducting job interviews. I'm no' connecting with them." Not like he did with Toni.
Gregori rested a hand on Ian's shoulder. "Dude, you can do this. You must have charmed ladies out of a pint of blood every night for several centuries."
Ian sighed. "I was never verra sophisticated about it. No one expected me to be. I looked so young, even though I felt old inside. And now I look old on the outside, but inside I feel like a green lad. I doona know what to say."
"You just need to work on your communication skills. First off, practice being a good listener. Women like to talk about their feelings. Even if you think it's totally boring, nod your head and keep listening."
"Okay."
"You should respond with lines like 'How interesting. Tell me more.'"
"How interesting," Ian repeated. "Tell me more."
"That's it. And here's another good one. 'You're absolutely right. How clever of you.' Women like to be complimented on their intelligence."
"Okay." Ian repeated the lines. "Thank you." He walked back to the table with Gregori. Vanda had already rushed off to her office.
"Good night, Ian." Toni smiled shyly.
"Good night, Toni." God, he wanted to touch her. He wanted to kiss her again.
Gregori slapped him on the back. "Later, dude. Let's go, Toni." He led her toward the dance floor. With a resigned sigh, Ian motioned for the next date to come forward.
"Hi, I'm Amy."
"Please have a seat." Ian looked over at Gregori. He was holding Toni close. That was necessary when teleporting with a mortal, but it didn't make it easier to watch.
"Gosh, when I saw your picture on the Internet, I thought you looked so sexy," Amy began. "But, I swear, you look even better in person!"
"How interesting," Ian murmured. "Tell me more." Damn, Toni was putting her arms around Gregori's neck.
"You want me to talk about how handsome you are?" Amy asked. "Isn't that kinda vain?"
"Ye're absolutely right. How clever of you."
"You jerk! I'm outta here." She stalked away.
He groaned. This night from hell would never end.
Toni and Gregori arrived at the back porch of the townhouse, and she used her special key to deactivate the alarm and open the door. He wished her good night, then teleported back to the Horny Devils for more dancing. It was odd, but she'd actually enjoyed herself at the vampire nightclub.
Unlike Ian. He had looked miserable. She hated to admit it, but a part of her rejoiced over his misery. His theory that only a Vamp would understand him was so wrong. Those bimbo bloodsuckers weren't good enough for him.
She rushed upstairs to her bedroom to get away from the surveillance cameras. She dropped her handbag on the bed and dialed Carlos. "Where are you now?"
"I got back to my apartment about five minutes ago," he replied. "I'm watching the monitor connected to your camera. It went black for a few seconds."
"That was teleportation. Does it give us the proof we need?"
"No, it just looked like a camera malfunction. So is this your luxurious bedroom I'm seeing now?" "Yes." Toni unclipped the camera from her vest and turned it off.
"Hey!" Carlos objected over the phone. "I want a tour of the house."
"And I want to go to bed." She slipped the camera into a dresser drawer. "I'm not sure if I caught any of the Vamps teleporting, because they just popped up without any advance warning. It was very frustrating." Though not as frustrating as watching those creepy Vamp women throw themselves at Ian.
"I don't know," Carlos replied. "I'll need to review the tape."
"If it didn't work, I have another idea." Toni opened the armoire across from her bed. Inside there was a television that she hadn't bothered to turn on yet. "The Vamps have their own television network called DVN."
"Really? What frequency is it on?"
"I don't know." She turned on the TV. "This looks like a commercial. Something called Vampos.
