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“I don’t appreciate bullshit.” I crossed my arms over my chest. “Stop trying to manipulate me.”
“I’m not. I’ve been thinking about you nonstop for the last week. Well, actually since I met you on the beach. And now you’re here in front of me. And you’re so fucking gorgeous, I can’t take it.”
I huffed and rolled my eyes. “Dad doesn’t want you on the front step drawing attention from the neighbors. We don’t need photographers here again. Come on in.”
I pushed the door open wider, turned, and headed for the back door and the peaceful backyard beyond. I trusted that Rome would follow. Judging by the gentle click of the front door and his presence behind me, he was.
I tried and failed to calm my racing heart. I wanted to believe him that he found me gorgeous even when I looked like a slob, but I knew better. I had a mirror. I looked like a heartbroken hag.
He was lying. Again.
By the time we reached the backyard, I’d managed to calm my adrenaline over his words and presence and worked my way back to pissed off.
I stopped at the fire pit at the far corner of the yard, grabbed one of the lounge chairs, and turned it to face the house. I sat and left Rome hovering uncertainly in front of me.
I gestured grandly. “You have the floor. Say whatever you needed to say.”
“Here?” Rome’s gaze bounced around the yard before resting on me.
“Right here. Or is my parents’ backyard not fancy enough for you?”
“No, it’s perfect. I’m sorry. So, um. Okay.” Rome pulled his hands out of his pockets and shook them before shoving them back in again. “I, uh…”
“Whenever you’re ready.” I felt like a complete bitch, but I was kinda enjoying seeing him all nervous and uncertain. It was empowering to knowIwas the cause of his apprehension. For so long, it’d been the opposite.
“Right. Um, I never realized how much of an entitled douche I’d turned into until you held up a mirror to me. Not to defend my actions or anything, but this lifestyle has a way of removing friction and obstacles in my life. People usually fall all over themselves to give me anything and everything I want. And somewhere along the way I decided I deserved to be treated like that, that it was okay. It was expected. It was my warped version of normal. So, when you came into my life, I went out of my way to remove obstacles in front of something I thought I wanted. And in the process, I hurt the most amazing woman I’d ever met.”
“Oh.” Somehow I didn’t think he’d be so open, honest, and heartfelt. I’d been expecting a very surface apology with a few lines from his movies tossed in. But this…
This was sincere.
“And, as far as you being worried about me not being real with you, that has never been the case. Everything I’ve said, and everything I’ve done with you has been real. I don’t and won’t pretend or act with you.Ever. What I’m like when I’m on set in a scene is different. That’s work. But my time with you has never felt like that. It probably should’ve felt like work, but it never has. What we have is special. Different than anything I’ve ever had before. Me saying those lines before you left was completely unintentional. I have all these lines and words jumbled up in my head, and sometimes it’s hard for me to remember what’s mine and what I’ve memorized from a script. But I promise you that despite the fact that they weren’t my words, I still felt it. I still feel that way for you.”
“I…I don’t know what to say.” And I really didn’t. He seemed so real and open, but it still hurt so much to know he’d manipulated me from the beginning and all for his own twisted plan.
Rome nodded slowly. “Well, I want you to know that I’m trying to change. And I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you. But I heard you. I won’t make any more plans for you without your input. I want to put you and your dreams first. I want to be in your life in whatever capacity you’re comfortable with. I’d uh, even settle for being your friend if it means I get to see you now and then.”
“I don’t know if I could be your friend.” The thought of having him in my life but not kissing him or feeling his arms around me wasn’t possible. I don’t think I’d be that strong. It had to be all or nothing.
“I understand.” Rome took a long, searching gaze at my face then turned toward the house.
“Wait. Don’t go.”
Rome whirled back around, hope gleaming from his eyes.
“I’m not saying that I’m ready to forgive you yet. I just…I don’t know what to say. I’m not ready to forgive, and I’m not ready for you to leave.”
“So we’re in a holding pattern, then?”
“I guess. I need a few minutes to process all this. I really thought we were over. I never thought you’d chase after me.”
“After I read your script, how could I not?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean come on. Even Jeff saw it. You made your hero Jake McMillon look and sound exactly like me.”
“I didn’t exactly model my hero after you.” The flush of my cheeks undermined my lie. “And I can’t believe you read my screenplay, Rome. I specifically asked Jeff not to give it to you—let alone read it himself.”
