AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“That’s not because I still love her.” King scrubbed a hand over his head as he took a few steps back.
And away from me.
“See? You’re doing it now. If it’s not love, why do you do that?” I took a shuddery breath. Too many emotions clogged my throat, and I was seconds away from losing it.
King just stood there looking at me with an indistinguishable expression in his eyes. I couldn’t tell if he was angry at me, or the question, or what he was feeling. Finally, after an endless moment of staring me down, he spoke.
“I don’t love her.”
His words were like a gunshot in the otherwise quiet, tension-filled room. My gaze flew to his, but he just stared stoically back, almost blank in his expression. And then he continued.
“I don’t know if I ever loved her. But I know I sure as hell hated her when she died.” There wasn’t any raw pain in his voice, just dull acceptance. Like it’d been over for him a long time ago.
That wasn’t what I’d been expecting. I couldn’t process it at first. I felt stupid for even bringing it up, but my brain couldn’t let it go. “I’m sorry. I let my imagination run away from me. That whole scene with your mom last night—”
“You’re right.”
My heart lurched. I was right? But he just said he hated her. “What?”
“I do shut down when anyone talks about her. I just…I hate that I was even with her. I hate the person I’d turned into when I was with her. Our relationship was toxic for way too fucking long. I let her manipulate and control me right up until the end.”
He paused and shook his head. “When I’d served her with the divorce papers she’d called, pleading with me to reconcile. She claimed she’d wanted to work it out, be a family again for Zoe. And the whole time she’d been in Monaco screwing a director—the guy who was driving the night she died. I was such a fool. So that’s why I don’t like talking about Ariel. Every time her name is mentioned, it just reminds me of my idiocy.”
The room thrummed with tension. He’d been systematically betrayed and gaslit by his partner—the person who was supposed to be his soft place to fall.
That was something I painfully knew too much about.
Tears sheened my eyes, so I faced the blurry figure in front of me and tried my best to explain my stupidity. “I’m sorry, King. Iwas betrayed by my ex too. He lied to me about how he felt too. I guess maybe this whole thing tonight is probably more about my marriage than yours.”
“What does that mean?”
God, I had to do this. I had to tell him, if only to explain why I’d flown off the handle. “You know he left me for another woman? A woman he’d gotten pregnant?”
King’s blurry figure nodded.
“I found out about his affair while I was in the hospital recovering from a miscarriage. I’d had an ectopic pregnancy, and when my fallopian tube ruptured and I was hemorrhaging, my husband was withher. Later that night, when he thought I was asleep, I heard him talking to her on the phone in my hospital room.” I swiped at the tears streaking down my face and had to clear my throat before I could speak again. “So you might say I have some trust issues, especially when it comes to fidelity.”
My face was buried in my hands when I finished speaking. I felt so broken. So stupid. Why had I flayed this amazing man with my insecurities? I’d known he’d had a difficult marriage. And this was supposed to be only physical, not an actual relationship.
Only I couldn’t stop myself from developing feelings for this amazing man who no doubt believed I was crazy now.
I never saw him approach, since my face was still buried in my hands, but the next thing I knew his arms came around me. He pulled me close and let me cuddle into his chest.
“Sounds like we both have our share of baggage.” His lips passed over the top of my head.
I closed my eyes and gave a wet chortle. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“The only good thing that came out of the relationship was Zoe. She gave me the power to move on. I had to—for her. I can’timagine only having pain and regret at the end instead. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, sweetheart.”
I hummed in my throat and just enjoyed the feeling of King holding me close. I’d wasted so much time worrying that he was still in love with his ex. If I’d just talked it through last night, I could’ve saved myself a hell of a lot of pain.
“Not to twist the knife or anything, but despite us making it a rule of our relationship, I’ve never worried about you straying. Maybe that makes me naïve, but I trust you, Briar. Completely. You’re different. And I’m glad I have you in my life.”
I didn’t know it was possible to feel both elated and guilty at the same time. He’d trusted me while I’d been certain he was still in love with his crazy—dead—wife. “Thank you, King. That means so much to me. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. It just hurt when you pulled away and treated me like I was just an employee.”
“I get that. Lines are getting blurred all over the place. But I don’t know what to do about that. I like you, Briar. A lot.” He hitched a shoulder like he was uncomfortable being this vulnerable.
My heart lurched in my chest.
