Page 14 of P.S. I Hate You


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My comeback wins a chuckle from the guy behind me, but Darla looks less than amused.

The rest of the class goes on without incident. I pack up my things and start to leave when a few guys raise two tight fingers, their wry grins forcing my brows together.

I choose to ignore their vague taunts, but the odd hand gesture continues throughout the day. Catcalls and whistles, followed by ruckus laughter. I don’t understand this school or the people in it. A two-finger salute is hardly comical, yet everywhere I turn, I’m being haunted by it. By the time lunch rolls around, I’m drowning in my confusion.

With my head low, I wander into the cafeteria. The students titter around me, but I remain silent.

“Ellie!” Chris’s call darts across the room. She waves me over, but Darla steps in my path.

Her smile stretches from ear to ear, a slow Cheshire cat grin that makes my insides burn. She lifts a piece of paper and reads aloud. “Why I’ve chosen the path of purity.”

The crowd within earshot erupts in a fit of giggles, but I feel as if I’ve been punched in the gut. The realization hits like two tons of regret.

How the fuck did they find that?

The article inPeoplemagazine was a publicity stunt to help jump-start my nonexistent modeling career. At the time, I was praised for my conviction. I never thought it would come back and bite me in the ass two years later.

Darla continues, “I’m sitting here with Ellie Cartwright, famed daughter of cryptocurrency mogul Sarah Cartwright, to talk about her Purity Pledge to remain abstinent.”

I lurch toward her, but she snaps the print from my reach and hands it back to someone else.

“‘These days, young people are too quick to offer up their bodies when their brains haven’t developed enough to understand what that sacred oath means,’” Jace quotes. “‘Sex is the easy part. It’s learning to love with your heart and mind that’s important, but it gets clouded over when the physical act becomes a priority.’” His laughter rakes me over hot coals. “ImaginePeoplemagazine doing an entire article on the fact that no one wants to fuck you.”

Heat plumes on my skin like Napalm. It crawls up my neck and into my cheeks, but the bet with Jace sits on my brain like a pecking bird.Do not cry. Do not cry. Do not cry.But the more I feel it, the faster it comes. Angry tears are worse than sad since they are harder to control.

Jace pinches his lips together. “You’ve got a coochie in them jeans, right?”

Darla adds, “Actually, I wouldn’t be surprised if Barbie here was nothing but smooth plastic down there.”

“I want my things back, Darla.”

She bats her lashes with an air of innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A surge of adrenaline powers through me. “The stuff you stole from my locker. My clothes, my shoes, and my mother’s ring.”

That touched a nerve. Darla’s eyes narrow to slits. “Are you insinuating I’ve stolen something from you?”

“I’m not insinuating it. I’m outright saying it.”

She steps forward, faking a stumble, and presses my lunch tray into my chest. “And you’re just a little virgin pig.” She lets out a snort, and her friends join in.

For the second time today, I find myself covered in liquid. The tray falls from my hands as I let out an irate shriek. “That’s it! What is wrong with you people? What did I do to deserve this from you?”

Knowing I lost the bet only makes my sobs come harder. I turn on my heel and run to the safety of the girls’ bathroom. Pressing my hands on either side of the sink, I stare down into the rusted drain, trying to pull myself together.

The door opens and closes with a wisp. My back curls like a frightened cat, but my shoulders droop when I see Chris standing before me. “I tried to warn you,” she says. “The article was taped to your locker, but I took it down. I didn’t know they had more copies.”

“Thanks,” I warble, slapping the handle on the faucet. Water flows from the spout fast and harsh like the blood rushing through my veins.

She rests her hip on the second sink. “For what it’s worth, Darla’s home life ain’t so great.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Nothin’. I just meant, like, she may be a bully at school, but she’s the victim at home. She lashes out because this is the only place she feels powerful.”

I roll my eyes. I’m too angry to feel sorry for Darla. A bad home life isn’t an excuse to be a raging bitch. We all have crosses to bear. “You know, the worst part about this whole thing is Jace. He could have been like a brother to me, but instead, he chooses to be a huge, irritating bully. Him and his fat-ass girlfriend.” The amount of enjoyment that crossed his face made my stomach burn. The fact that he gets off on seeing me suffer is just so uncool.

Shreds of the paper towel cling to the wet stain as I compulsively scrub without thought. The touch of Chris’s hand slows my furious pace. “Jace Wilder doesn’t have friends. He has minions. He’s idolized by the guys because he’s tough and worshiped by the girls because of the way he looks. It’s a win-win situation for him. Your feelings don’t matter.”

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