AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I wish he would have just talked to me.”
“Sid has been grumpy for a long time. I don’t think he’s told anyone what has really been going on.”
“It just doesn’t add up. If he’s not interested in a relationship, why was he dating? Why did he ask Kate out when she first arrived in town? And what happened over time that made him so angry? Kate and Mindy said he was quiet but nice when they first arrived here.”
Rebecca sighed. “So many unanswered questions. I wish I had the answers to them, but by the time I came here, he was already closed off. We went on a date once.”
“What?”
I sat up and looked at her in shock.
“Relax. It was a long time ago, and it didn’t work out. We realized within five minutes that we were better friends. I think everyone thought we’d get together, but there weren’t any sparks.”
“There weren’t sparks with us either the first time we went out. But over time, he grew on me.”
Rebecca laughed. “Like an ugly pair of shoes?”
I swatted her with a pillow. “No. It was easy between us. His grumpy exterior didn’t bother me, and I saw what he was really like. He cares deeply for people, and he’s funny. When he smiled, it lit up his whole face, and the sex was”—I sighed—“It was better than any I’ve ever had. We had chemistry that exploded when we gave in, but it was deeper than that. Being with Sid didn’t take work. We found a rhythm early on, and it was so natural. Like we’d done it for years and we really were engaged.
“Deep down, I knew it wouldn’t last. It was fake, and I kept reminding myself of that, but then something changed. One day, we slept together, and it wasn’t just sex. It was deeper, and I could feel him opening up. I thought we’d reached a turning point until he told me tonight that it was never real.”
Rebecca’s mouth dropped open. “He made love to you and then said all that?”
I nodded. “It was a week ago. Before the tree lighting.”
“I’m so sorry,” Rebecca said.
“Me too,” I whispered and fell into her lap.
Chapter 33
SID
KAT’S SCENT WAS EVERYWHERE, and her laughter followed me from room to room. She’d left her pillow on my bed, and it still smelled like her. Sunshine, vanilla, and happiness. The first few nights, I curled up with it, hanging on to what we had, but then I became disgusted with myself and tossed it into the spare room.
A week had passed since I’d fucked everything up with my friends and Kat. To make matters worse, it was Christmas, and I hated the holiday and all it reminded me of. I was miserable. I tossed the tree the first chance I got and boxed up all the decorations Kat had purchased to make this an enjoyable holiday.
I put them in the spare room where her bed and dresser still were. Rebecca had sent Peter and Jacob to retrieve the big items, but I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone yet, and I didn’t let them in. She sent me nasty messages, which I deserved, and Frank told me not to come around for a while.
I couldn’t go anywhere in town without being reminded of Kat. People in town frowned at me when I walked around, as if I was the Grinch. A woman and her child even crossed the street to get away from me. Elouise refused to serve me coffee until I smiled, but I couldn’t make it happen.
The town had exploded with Christmas, which only made my mood worse. Connie didn’t want me at work, but my office was the only place that wasn’t filled with reminders of Kat or my past. It was the only place I felt an ounce of peace.
I spent my evenings at home drunk and slept on the couch to avoid the reminder of Kat in my bed. Her presence invaded every inch of my house and the town, and I couldn’t get away. Part of me didn’t want to because then all the good she’d brought into my life would be gone.
When she’d asked if we’d made love, I wanted so badly to take her in my arms and tell her yes. I hadn’t been pretending, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth. Happiness wasn’t in the cards for me, and I would only hurt her.
A loud pounding on the door rattled through my bourbon-soaked skull. The bottle had been an engagement gift from my father, and I decided it was fitting to open it and drink myself stupid while wallowing. I hated my dad, and I knew he’d be the first to tell me what a fuck-up I was.
The pounding continued, and I looked at my phone to see what time it was. Ten in the morning. I nearly sprang up because I was late for work, but then I remembered I wasn’t allowed at the office. After I fell asleep drunk on the sofa in my office, Connie sent me home on call. She told me to only come in if there was an emergency or they needed me.
“Open up,” Will shouted.
He was the last person I wanted to talk to. I rolled over and pulled the blanket over my head. The handle to the door jiggled, and then there was the sound of a key in the lock. I cursed. Why had I given him a key?
“Up and at ’em,” Will said, tearing the blanket off me. “Holy shit. You stink.”
“Leave me alone.”
