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“Come on. I promise nothing will happen. I just want to make sure you’re safe,” Sid said. He held out his hand to me.
It was my only option unless he dropped me off at someone else’s house, but he was right. It was late, and all of my friends had kids that would be asleep. I huffed and stood up, ignoring his hand as I made my way back to his truck. He stood beside the passenger door and waited for me to get inside.
I crossed my arms over my chest and stared out the front window. “Do you have pizza?”
“I don’t know.”
“Figures,” I said.
He climbed inside and started the truck. I fell asleep again in the few minutes it took to get to his house. I vaguely registered him picking me up and carrying me inside. Shiloh danced at his feet. I could hear the pitter patter of her nails on the hardwood.
Sid set me down and then stepped back. When I sat up and my eyes focused, I realized I was on my bed in the guest room. “I forgot this was still here.”
He ran his hand over his beard. “Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask someone to help me return it.”
I nodded but didn’t have the energy to talk about anything. “Thanks for helping me.”
“You’re welcome. Can I get you anything?”
“Water?”
He nodded and disappeared. When he came back, he had a pair of sweats, a T-shirt, and a glass of water. He set the clothes on the bed and the water on the nightstand, along with two white pills.
“Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He left, closing the door behind him.
I swallowed the pills and drank the entire glass of water. Then I changed into Sid’s sweats and T-shirt and slipped under the covers. It was comforting to sleep in my own bed, with my own pillow, even if it was in Sid’s house. Within minutes, sleep pulled me under.
Chapter 36
SID
KAT WAS IN MY HOUSE again, and it felt like a second chance. I couldn’t sleep knowing she was just downstairs. I wanted to pull her into my arms and beg her to never leave.
When I went to the grand opening for Rebecca’s restaurant, I wasn’t planning on talking to Kat. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but by the end of the night, the need to be near her won out.
She was gorgeous. My hands itched all night to run over the soft curves beneath her skin-tight pink dress and tangle in her long tresses. Her honey blond hair looked a little darker now that it was winter, and I liked it. She was so beautiful it hurt, and I needed to fix what I’d broken.
Jealousy burned through me when I saw my brother talking to her. He was more her type on paper, the kind of man who could give her the world. Money, joy, forever. All the things I couldn’t give her. I shook my head. I was letting my past dictate my future again, and it had to end.
Laney had been kidnapped two years ago, and it messed with her head for a while. She started seeing a therapist, and after talking with Will, I decided I needed one too. Laney gave me the number to a clinic in the city, and I’d been going twice a week for the last month.
Talking through things helped. I still felt guilt and shame, but it was easier to deal with and to see that it wasn’t my fault. Between Christmas and New Year’s, I reached out to Lisa’s parents and apologized for taking her away from them.
Her mom cried and said they had never blamed me. She said when I shut down and shut them out, it felt like they lost me too. Lisa and I had dated for years. All through high school and then after. I had been close with her parents, but the guilt of her death was too much to take. So I quit visiting and then moved to Oak Springs to get away from it all.
Speaking with her parents and talking to a therapist regularly had been freeing, but there was still so much pain. I loved Lisa, but it was nothing compared to the way I felt about Kat. She was sunshine, joy, and love. She was everything good in my life. Katerina could heal the broken parts inside of me with her light.
I’d been telling myself for years that I wasn’t worthy of happiness or love. That I deserved to suffer because I’d killed Lisa by making poor choices. I bent over and gripped the counter as the grief and guilt hit me like a wave. I had a long way to go to undo the lies I’d told myself. I only hoped Kat would be by my side to walk through it with me.
I had a lot of groveling to do, so I got up early to make her coffee and breakfast. I hoped a meal would persuade her to stay and talk to me.
The door to the spare room creaked, and my heart thumped double time in my chest. I heard the bathroom door close, and I exhaled and relaxed a little. A few minutes later, she walked into the kitchen, and the air left my lungs.
Her face was free of makeup, and her hair was a mess of waves over her shoulders. She was wearing my T-shirt and sweats. And she was just as striking as she’d been all made up last night. I wanted more moments like this with her. I wanted to wake up together to breakfast and coffee. I wanted every day with her for the rest of our lives.
