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I once thought Emilia could fill that empty void in my chest. It certainly felt like she could, but I was wrong, and now I understand that I can’t rely on others to give me what I want. I can’t allow my wants, needs, and desires to be contingent on another person. I have to reach out and grasp them for myself.
My focus returns to the card still clutched tightly in my hand. Kappa Epsilon is my family’s legacy, and perhaps whatever this card represents is mine.
The rest of my morning classes go by in a blur, and when lunch rolls around, I’m sitting in my usual chair, surrounded by Hawk, Hadley, and her guys at our regular table in the on-campus food court. I’m present, but I’m not really here. The card burning a hole in my back pocket has all of my attention. I can hardly sit still in my chair, my leg bouncing underneath the table in anticipation of tonight.
“Wilder? Wilder!” Hadley’s elbow drives into my side, and I turn to glower at her.
“What the fuck, Sunshine? That’s not cool.”
“Are you even listening?” she asks, ignoring me. “West was asking how you’re getting on with your classes this semester?”
My gaze darts up to West, sitting opposite me, with a quizzical look on his face. “Oh, yeah, they’re fine. Same old. You know I’m only here for the parties, girls, and to hang out with you guys. I couldn’t care less about my classes.”
I hear Hadley sigh, but I’m already back to my theories about tonight. Everything from the mundane to the intriguing to the downright ludicrous. You name it, I’ve thought of it. Someone playing a prank. A two-month belated surprise birthday party for yours truly. A private audience with Beyonce. The possibilities are endless.
“Is this aboutyou know who?” Hadley whispers, leaning in so our conversation can’t be overheard.
“Of course not,” I scoff. “I’d actually completely forgotten she existed.”
Lie. While the invite and meeting tonight are a welcome distraction fromshe who shall not be named, it would be impossible for me to ever forget her—especially now that she’s taking up residence inmyhouse.
“Righttttt,” Hadley drags the word out, clearly not believing me.
Whatever.
“The two of you need to work out your shit. You’re both my best friends, so you can’t avoid one another forever.”
“I beg to differ. Haven’t the last four years proven exactly that?”
She huffs out a frustrated sigh. “The opposite, actually. I’m sick of being stuck in the middle. I just want all of us to get along.”
At her uncharacteristically deflated tone, I glance her way out of the corner of my eye, finding her staring at me with big puppy dog eyes as she flutters her eyelashes like an idiot. “You suck at pulling off the innocent pleading look,” I deadpan.
“Yeah, I know,” she says with a shrug and a small smirk. “But figured it was worth a go.”
“Because you couldn’t use violence in front of a room full of people.”
“Who says I won’t resort to violence just because other people are around?”
With a blur of motion, so quick I don’t even see it, she has my hand twisted in such a way that it feels like something important is about to snap. I bite down so hard on my tongue to keep from crying out that the coppery tang of blood fills my mouth.
Just as quickly as she incapacitated me, she lets go, and I growl furiously at her while massaging my aching wrist and ignoring the curious stares we’re receiving from the others around the table.
As if nothing happened, she continues talking. “Please, just find a way to co-exist. For me.”
Still snarling at her, I spit out, “Fine, I’ll try,” earning a rare Sunshine smile from her before she resumes eating her pasta salad.
Damn, that almost makes me feel bad for lying to her.
* * *
The restof the day felt like it crawled by at a snail’s pace until, finally, classes were done. Hawk and I agreed to stay at the frat house for the rest of this week—something I foresee myself doing every week until a certain black-haired ghost vacatesmyhouse. I’m already thinking up ways to break my promise to Hadley, and that’s not a good sign. I can’t be around that girl without losing my self-control—and let’s face it, I barely had any to begin with.
I can still feel the thudding of her pulse beneath my skin and recall the surprise in her eyes when I wrapped my hand around her throat this morning, and against my wishes, my cock begins to twitch in my pants, straining to get to her.
Calm the fuck down,I demand of it, subtly readjusting myself so Hawk and the other frat guys we’re hanging out with tonight don’t notice.She’s off-limits.Not listening to reason, my dick continues to harden.Remember how that worked out for us last time? You got wet, and I got kicked to the side.Yeah, no, he’s not fucking listening to me. Unwilling to continue attempting to reason with him, I instead focus on the two guys playing a game of darts. Except, within a matter of seconds, I’m bored out of my skull and back to thinking abouther.
Getting pissed off now, I instead direct my thoughts toward tonight. I only have to kill a little more time until midnight, then I can find out what that note was all about. Finally, the need to fuck Emilia until she can’t fucking think straight ebbs away and excitement takes its place.
