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I think it over for a second before deciding she’s probably right. “Yeah, probably.”
That wasthe first of many gifts, but there was never anything that stood out as an obvious red flag. I hadn’t felt wholly comfortable about any of it, especially the strange complimentary notes bordering on weird or socially inept, but they were only gifts. I assumed they were from some socially awkward guy who wasn’t great at flirting. I never suspected anything more sinister.
Despite the fact that I’d left Pacific Prep telling myself that I’d forget all about Hawk and Wilder, I spent most of my freshman year in a fog, especially when it came to boys and dating. Instead of seeing what was right in front of me, I’d placed my uncomfortableness over the gifts down to the fact that I wasn’t ready to move on. Maybe if I’d actually done what I’d told myself I would do—leave them in my past—then I’d have seen the threat staring me in the face before anyone got hurt. Before poor Richard had to die.
I don’t even realize I’m crying until I feel the wetness on my cheeks. Sniffing, I wipe hastily at the tear tracks and redirect my thoughts to this morning. To the surprised look in Wilder’s eyes, mixed with something darker and slightly unhinged. It’s a look I’ve seen before, just never directed at me.
I remember seeing that maniacal glint in his eye a time or two. Sensed the change in his aura when he or someone he cared about was threatened. You see, Wilder is the type of guy who, when he decides you are worth his time, will give one hundred and ten percent. He’d go to the ends of the earth for you, even if his methods are a little unorthodox and outside the box.
Once upon a time, I was one of those people. One of the few in this world he allowed into his inner circle. At the time, his attention terrified me, but honestly, the coldness in his eyes today was far more alarming. Back then, I was a kid scared of the overwhelming feelings that were beginning to overshadow everything else in my life. I was afraid I’d get hurt or be let down. Worried Wilder would break my heart. He was the first one—the only one, really—who has ever had the power to do just that, and after watching my mom go through life like a zombie, I would have done anything to avoid that life for myself. Except, in my attempts to avoid making the same mistakes as her, I ended up living a life that was just as detached and void of emotion.
I hadn’t even realized how numb I’d become until I saw him this morning, and all those feelings I thought were long buried came rushing to the surface. Even seeing Hawk yesterday elicited more emotion than I’ve felt in a long time. I couldn’t tell you the last time I found a guy attractive, yet I couldn’t stop looking at Hawk from beneath my eyelashes last night. And despite the hostility in Wilder’s gaze this morning, heat still coiled in my core at his close proximity.
“Uh, sorry, am I interrupting?”
I startle out of my thoughts when I hear Kai’s voice. Thankfully, he’s found a shirt and pants since this morning, although he still looks drool-worthy in his form-fitting workout top and black cargo pants. Just another guy in this house who manages to make me feel things I haven’t felt in years.
“No, you’re fine. I was just thinking.” I chew on my bottom lip before plucking up the courage to ask, “Has there been any update on Richard?”
Kai’s eyes soften, taking on a pitying look that Ihate.
“I know you said he was…”Dead. I can’t say the word aloud, however. “But I just can’t give up hope until I know for sure.”
“I get that. And, Emilia, I really do hope I’m wrong.”
But he doesn’t think he will be. That’s what he doesn’t say.
“To answer your question, no, there’s been no sign of him.” Moving to stand in front of me, he reaches out and gives my shoulder a squeeze. “I promise to let you know as soon as I have anything.”
“Thank you,” I croak, swallowing around the lump in my throat.
He smiles sadly. “I can only imagine how difficult the last twenty-four hours have been on you.”
I sigh, the combination of fear and feeling overwhelmed and completely out of my depth threatening to drown me.
“So, what is the plan?” I ask, changing the subject and needing to do something more productive than wallowing in self-pity. “How are we going to catch this guy? How are we even going to figure out who it is?”
Straightening, any sympathy is wiped from his face as Kai goes into work mode, explaining, “Since Hadley has had me on the job, I’ve been looking into the people in your life. I started with those closest to you—Mel, Richard, anyone in your building, and your colleagues at work—and one by one, I’ve ruled them out.”
My shoulders drop. Kai’s been living next to me for months, presumably working that whole time, and yet he has zero leads. “So basically, you have nothing?” I ask dejectedly, a fresh wave of panic slamming into me. What if it takes us weeks or months, or—holy crap—yearsto identify this asshole? “Kai, I’m going to go out of my mind cooped up in this house. What about my job? I can’t hide out here indefinitely.”
Most likely seeing my escalating panic, Kai moves to perch on the sofa beside me. “It might sound like no progress, but I promise you it is. Every person I rule out is one less person I need to look deeper into. I started with the people least likely to be the culprit—your friends and people you only crossed paths with since graduating. Now, we can focus on everyone associated with Halston, which is most likely where we will find this guy. It’s a slow process, but eventually, we will have ruled out everyone, with the exception of a small handful of suspects. Besides, now that I no longer have to dig into your life without you knowing, I’m hoping that with your help, we can dwindle down the pool of suspects much faster.”
“If you think this person is someone I met at Halston, then why did you start with people I only met a few months ago?”
“Ruling people out is just as important as ruling them in. Now that I know for sure that no one present in your life since you graduated is involved, I can put all my focus into investigating anyone who was associated with Halston while you were there.”
“Okay. So, what can I do to help?”
In answer to my question, he passes over the stack of books he’s holding, and I glance down, reading the cover of the top one.Halston University: Scientia ac Labore.
Through knowledge and hard work.
“I didn’t know Halston made physical yearbooks anymore. Aren’t they all digital now?”
“They are, but I got them to send me physical copies. This way, we can highlight and make notes beside anyone we need to look at more closely.”
Cracking open the top yearbook, I flick through the pages, hardly recognizing anyone.
