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Holding his gaze for a long second as a war wages within me, I reach out and snatch the card from his outstretched hand before turning tail and storming out of his office.
Chapter11
HAWK
The stench of sex-drenched pheromones quickly dissipates from the air as Wilder’s receding footsteps taper off, and I get to my feet, ignoring the lingering sweetness of Emilia’s excitement on my tongue.
Stepping past her, I move to follow Wilder, concerned about the look I saw before he stormed off. He’s been acting weird recently—weirder than usual—and I’m pretty sure the cause for that is currently covered in his cum and on her knees behind me. I thought he’d gotten over her, but she’s getting to him more than I’d anticipated.
Perhaps I should have insisted Hadley get rid of her. Although, tonight has been one of the most entertaining nights I’ve had all year. Not that I have the most active social life. Wilder is the one who has really embraced the whole college experience, while I’ve dedicated my time to my studies and helping Dad get Nocturnal Enterprises back on its feet. It maybe hasn’t been as exciting as Wilder’s experience, but it’s come with its own perks. I’m in the top fifteen percent of students in my major and Nocturnal Enterprises is thriving.
Over the last four years, Dad has taught me the ropes and given me more and more responsibility within the company, preparing me for when I graduate and I can step up beside him as a director.
There’s a seat at the table for Hadley too, but she’s not interested in running the company. Not that I can blame her, given her past. She’s content to know the company is doing well—and, most importantly, is operating within the legal confines of the law. Now that she has made a life for herself and has opportunities she never thought possible, she would rather spend her freedom discovering what she enjoys and pursuing that than getting sucked into the corporate world of board meetings and accounting spreadsheets.
I, on the other hand, have been surprised to find that I genuinely enjoy it. Nocturnal Enterprises has always been my future, but when I was younger, the thought of being forced into working there was like watching the bars of a prison cell slam into place. It was suffocating, and I’d never felt more trapped. However, after weremovedthe corrupt members of the board—which basically consisted of my own mother, West and Beck’s Father, Cam’s Dad, and Mason’s—it’s like we were able to form an entirely new company. My father and I worked together to change the organization’s outlook and purpose. Together, we developed something financially sustainable that we could be proud of, and somewhere along the way, it became a labor of love for me. Something worthwhile to invest my time and energy in.
Not to mention, having that first-hand insight and experience has gone a long way in helping me with my college classes and ultimately convinced me to pursue a business degree.
All of that to say, I’ve been a little too preoccupied to have much time for parties and dating. Not that anyone has really caught my attention. Girls have always just been a way to pass the time for me. Back at Pac, having every girl at school drooling over you was a huge ego boost. They were easy and willing to do whatever I wanted, but it didn’t take long for that to become boring. Easy? Who the fuck wants easy?
That was when Emilia first came onto my radar. She wasn’t like the other girls at school. She didn’t want to suck up to me—or suck me off. Where my money and last name were a turn-on for other girls, they did the exact opposite for Emilia. Initially, I liked that about her. That, and the fact she was the only girl I could sleep with who didn’t expect her orgasm to come with a wedding ring attached.
Her quiet, studious, holier-than-thou attitude had always been off-putting, but watching her face her fears and stand up to me, all in the name of being a true friend to Hadley, was intriguing. I enjoyed pushing her and seeing how she responded. The battle that ensued as she worked up the courage to go toe-to-toe with me. I fucking loved it when the fighter in her won. The way she’d straighten her spine and jut out her chin. The fire that would burn in her eyes promising destruction. I’d never been so fucking turned on in my life.
“Hawk?” The fragility in Emilia’s voice gives me pause, and I turn to face her. Slowly, my eyes rake over her slumped position on the floor before landing on the confused and somewhat despondent look in her eye.God, as much as I loved her moxie, I don’t think she’s ever looked more beautiful, all broken and defeated.There’s only one other night she’s looked this breathtaking…
Memories ofthatnight flicker through my mind when all three of us chucked our inhibitions—well, Emilia and I did. Wilder’s never given a shit about inhibitions. He does whatever the hell he wants. That night he wanted Emilia, except it was more than that. He wanted Emilia to give in toherdesires. To set aside her fear and concerns over what others might think or say and act on her impulses.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more shocked than when she launched herself at me and kissed me like she’d die if she didn’t taste me right that second. After that night when she’d fallen asleep on my couch, moaning my name in her sleep, and then I’d gotten her off with my fingers before she stormed out of my apartment, pissed as all hell, I’d constantly find my mind drifting to her. Remembering how her face relaxed right before she came, the way her eyes darkened to a forest green when she was turned-on.
The night everything changed, I’d been watching her dance with Wilder. It was obvious to anyone watching that he was obsessed with her, even then. The way she melted against him when he wrapped his arms around her… she was into him, too. That night, he was pulling out all the stops, and I knew the only way it was ending was with both of them in bed together.
When I realized that, I stormed away from the party like a toddler who wasn’t allowed to play with his favorite toy. Until that moment, I hadn’t even realized I wanted her. I found her attractive, sure, but I thought the only reason I was even remotely interested in her was that she was the only girl—other than Hadley— at Pac who saw me for me, not my money or my last name.
So, when she catapulted herself into my arms and said she wanted both meandWilder, there was no stopping me. I slammed my lips down on hers and spent the rest of the night intimately acquainting myself with her body.
She was like a drug after that. Every time I was around her, I needed another fix, but it was still just sex. Admittedly, inexplicably mind-blowing sex, but I didn’t catch feelings like Wilder did. I didn’t fall in fucking love with her. I knew she was leaving, knew that she was meant for a life far better than anything she’d find with me—with us. Emilia wanted a life she’d built for herself, one she’d worked hard for. Not one that had been handed to her. Wilder would have given her the world, but that’s not Emilia’s style. She wants to earn her place in this life, and I can respect that, even if I can begrudgingly admit that I did actually miss her after she left.
It had caught me by surprise. I hadn’t expected to, and it took me a while to identify why I was feeling a little adrift. But once I figured it out, I threw myself into rebuilding Nocturnal Enterprises—along with establishing a family dynamic with both my father and Hadley—and by the time we started at Ridgeway the following autumn, Emilia was nothing but a distant, fun memory… until she crash-landed in my life again.
Now, I’m just fucking confused about how I feel. What Ishouldfeel.IfI should be feelinganythingtoward her.
“Do you really think leaving was a mistake?”
Surprised by my question, she takes a second to think—or maybe she’s still reeling from her near orgasm—before answering me. “I’m not sure. Not necessarily a mistake, but more that I wish things had turned out differently.”
“With Wilder.”
She shrugs a shoulder, the movement seeming delicate and poised, even with the cum drying on her face.
“Not just him.” She chews on her bottom lip. “Hawk, I—”
“You don’t owe me any sort of apology, Em. You and I are okay. We always have been. We both knew where we stood back then, and for what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing by leaving. You might be wonderingwhat if, but I don’t think you could have lived with yourself if you’d stayed. Your regrets would have been far bigger than they are now, and they would have come between you and Wilder.”
“Maybe it didn’t have to be an either-or option.”
I shrug, not having a sure answer. “Maybe, but I still think you had to achieve your success on your own. You wouldn’t have accepted Wilder handing you anything, which is exactly what he would have done. You would have questioned whether his name or influence was the reason for your achievement instead of your hard work. And, honestly, Wilder wasn’t ready either.” With another shrug, I finish off, “Now, if Wilder can get over his bruised ego and hurt heart, the two of you could have something real.”
