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Returning to the table, I set his mug down beside him and take a seat opposite, watching while he works. Creases line his forehead, his brows dipped in concentration, and I find myself tracing the lines of his face while my leg bounces restlessly under the table. He’s handsome. I’ve always thought so, but the early morning light makes him appear softer, younger. Although, he can’t be more than a couple of years older than me. Mid-to-late twenties, I’d guess.
“Emilia,” he sighs eventually. “I can’t focus with you staring at me like that.”
“Oh.” I duck my head, embarrassed to have been caught openly staring at him. I can only hope I wasn’t drooling too. “Sorry.”
Staring into my coffee, I don’t last long until the anxiety becomes too much and I cannot sit still, so I get up and start opening and closing cupboard doors until I find some cleaning supplies. I can feel Kai’s eyes on me as I don a pair of bright yellow rubber gloves that go all the way to my elbows and begin scrubbing at the kitchen sink like it’s personally offended me.
We work in silence as the early morning sun climbs higher in the sky, the birds tweeting outside the window, oblivious to the tension inside the house. At eight a.m. Hawk strides into the kitchen, wearing a suit similar to the one he wore yesterday, and just like yesterday, I find myself thinking,this man has never looked more devastating.My panties disintegrate at the mere sight of him.
His gaze lingers on me, taking in my bed head that probably looks even worse than it did when I woke up, now that I’ve had several hours to run my fingers repeatedly through it, before slowly dropping over my pajamas. I’ve worked up a sweat cleaning the kitchen, and my top sticks to me like a second skin. Something he seems to enjoy as his eyes linger on the strip of skin showing above the waistband of my shorts. One side of his lips quirks up in a quick, barely there smirk before he glances over at Kai.
“You two look like you got plenty of rest last night.” Moving toward the fridge, he pulls open the door, lifting out a carton of orange juice and bringing it to his lips. My eyes widen in horror as he drinks directly from the carton, and I hurriedly grab a glass and thrust it into his chest.
He looks down at me questioningly, and with a roll of my eyes, I explain, “It’s unhygienic. Other people don’t want to drink your backwash.”
His lips quirk again, drawing my attention to them, and his voice drops an octave as he says in a quiet voice meant only for me, “You didn’t use to mind my saliva in your mouth.”
Oh, fuck me.Any remnants of my panties have just self-combusted.
I can feel the heat in my cheeks, and as though he can’t help himself, Hawk reaches out to brush a thumb over the flushed skin. “I love the way you blush for me.” His eyes drop to my chest, which rises and falls rapidly beneath his gaze, my nipples having no issue with letting him know just how badly he’s affecting me.
I have absolutely no idea what is happening between us. Where is his apathy from Sunday night? I’m getting whiplash from how quickly he goes from hating me to being interested to being indifferent. Which version is the truth, and which are the lies he’s telling himself?
Appearing completely unaffected, he pours the juice into the glass and drinks it down in several large gulps while I watch the bob of his Adam’s apple with a thirst that can’t be quenched by anything we have in the fridge. When he’s finished, he presses the glass back into my hand, his fingers brushing along mine. That buzzing I felt before starts up, and it’s as if his touch has triggered a chain reaction, heat flaring out from my hand until it encompasses my entire body and I feel like I’m being incinerated from the inside out.
The only outward appearance that indicates he’s as affected by this as I am is the heat that simmers in his stormy gaze as he steps away. Clearing his throat, he stores the carton back in the fridge. “I’ve gotta get to work.” He makes a point of not looking at me, instead turning to focus on Kai. “Keep me updated, yeah?”
Lifting his gaze from the screen, Kai nods. “Will do, man.”
Satisfied, Hawk straightens his suit and strides from the room, once again leaving me with the after-effects of his whiplash.
Chapter13
WILDER
Ilie with my back against the headboard, turning the card containing my next task over in my fingers as I replay the scene I walked in on last night. The three of them laughing over the dinner table, drinking wine, and acting like it’s not completely fucked up that she’s here.
How the fuck can Hawk just park his feelings and act so casually around her? Why doesn’t he fly face-first into a fit of rage the way I do? I can’t even look at her without wanting to wrap my hand around her neck and shove my cock down her throat until her eyes stream and her lips turn blue. It’s the only time I can stand to fucking look at her, when she’s choking on my cock.
My hand crumples around the card, crushing it, and I have to close my eyes and suck down a deep lungful of air, forcing myself to calm down.
Focusing my thoughts back on the perfect family dinner I stumbled in on last night—not that any of them noticed—I open my eyes and uncrumple the card, reading over my task once more.
Senatorial candidate Comptonis a client of Nocturnal Enterprises. Obtain a copy of his file.
I don’t wantto betray Hawk, but the more that image from last night assaults my brain, the more I feel like maybe I no longer fit in here. Perhaps my time with Hawk has been nothing more than a stepping-stone, and now I’m ready to move on to better things. Move on to myrealfamily.
To do that, I need to get the file of some pretentious asshole running for senator.
Robbie’s words from my first task come to mind:It’s not about the pen. It’s about whether you have the gall to do it.
This is exactly the same, except instead of a pen, it’s information. It’s not like the King’s Elite are even going to use it. They just want me to prove… what exactly, I’m not sure. That I’ll do it? That I’ll risk getting thrown in jail? That I’m willing to piss off Hawk? I don’t know exactly, but if it will get me one step closer to meeting my real family, is it worth it?
When I was first given the task, I thought no. Nothing was worth affecting my friendship with Hawk. But wouldn’t Hawk do the same for his family? He’d do anything for Hadley, even stab me in the heart if he had to. I’m not saying he’d like it—although there are definitely days when I swear he looks at me like that’s precisely what he’d like to do—but he’d do it because that’s what you do for family.
Now, I don’t know if my family is worth killing my best bro friend/frat brother/roomie over, but the Kings aren’t asking me to kill him. They just want some pointless information about some old dude who thinks he can cut it as a senator. He probably won’t even get elected.
If it means that I might finally find a place I belong, with people like myself, where no heartless bitches can come storming into my life out of the blue and fucking it all up, then it’s gotta be worth it, right?
