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Kai immediately opens the email, hesitating with his mouse over the attached file.
“You might not want to see this,” he hedges, turning his head to look at me.
“I already know he’s dead. How much worse can it get?”
His lips pinch, his expression telling me that it can always get worse, but instead of arguing, he simply gives a curt nod and clicks on the file.
Some sort of handwritten investigative report opens, filled with so much information that I don’t even know where to look as my eyes bounce all over the screen. I note his full name, address, and date of birth have been filled in.Definitely my Richard, I think, even as my stomach roils. I already knew he was dead, but somehow this feels even more real than the photographs.
Kai scrolls down, more new information filling the screen and flooding my brain. I skim over most of it, but words likestabbed with a sharp object, advanced decomposition, exposed to the elements,all jump out at me until I have to sit down.
Tearing my gaze away from the screen, I take several concentrated breaths, willing my stomach to calm down. “Maybe you should just tell me what it says,” I say in a strained voice, deliberately keeping my eyes averted.
“They estimate that he died about four weeks ago,” Kai states, his voice soft and calming, helping to soothe the pain left behind by his cutting words.
“Around the time I—”
“Yeah,” Kai confirms when I stop mid-sentence, unable to say the words aloud.
At least he wasn’t held captive all this time, right? It’s the only silver lining I can find, although it does nothing to reassure me.
I frown, words that I don’t understand catching my attention. “Why do they think it’s a possible drug deal gone wrong? Richard didn’t do drugs.”
Kai skims his eyes over that part of the report. “Looks like they found drugs near his body, and given the part of town he was found in. It’s known gang territory and his missing finger fits the M.O. of Devil’s Dynasty, a well-known gang that operates in that part of town.”
My face screws up in disgust, having no words.
“Looks like he was stabbed multiple times,” Kai continues, reading aloud. “They think that’s what killed him.”
“They aren’t sure?” I question with a frown.
“He, uhhh…” Kai winces, and I brace myself for what he has to say next. “He was found in an alleyway in a rundown suburb of Springview.”
“Okay?” I frown, not understanding.
“He was there for a while, Em. Probably since he was… killed.”
My entire body stiffens as the other words I read on the report assault my mind like a battering ram.Exposed to the elements. Advanced decomposition.
I close my eyes against the onslaught, yet all I see is Richard’s kind face as his skin turns gray, his eyes lifeless before his skin begins to rot and slew off.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” I groan, placing my forehead against tabletop. I wrap my hands around my waist, breathing deeply until the wave of nausea calms to a low boil. At the sound of Kai’s chair scraping against the floor, I turn my head, placing my cheek against the cool granite.
“Here, drink this,” he says, placing a glass of water down beside me.
Making no effort to move, I instead watch as the occasional bubble of air forms against the glass. “How do they even know it’s him?” I ask in a weak voice.
“Dental records. Looks like one of his friends eventually reported him missing.”
A suffocating silence falls, or perhaps Kai is talking and I just can’t hear him over my chaotic thoughts. My mind churns with all of this new information, but one thought, in particular, keeps circling back around.
“This is all my fault,” I murmur, my voice low. I’m not capable of speaking any louder. Not capable of moving. I could easily curl up and die right here.
“Don’t say that.” Although Kai’s voice still has that same soothing quality, his words are spat out in a bite.
I grimace, still unable to gather the energy to lift my head, as I stare blankly at the kitchen wall. “Why not? It’s true. I strung him along. If I hadn’t made him think there was the possibility of a future there, then he wouldn’t have bought that ring.” A tear escapes the corner of my eye, running down the side of my face until it pools against the cold granite beneath me. “Richard was a good man. One of the best guys I’ve ever known. He didn’t deserve this.” Another tear overflows. “Wilder’s right. I am a heartless bitch.”
“Richard loved you.” Kai’s voice comes from somewhere nearby, but I just continue to stare pointedly at the wall. “Maybe you weren’t able to give him your whole heart, but he was obviously happy with what you were willing to give. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have considered spending the rest of his life with you.” He releases a long sigh when I don’t respond. “The responsibility for his death lies squarely with this psycho.Notyou. Besides, since when did you start listening to Wilder?”
