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That changed later, when he named me as King’s Justice. I’ve fought plenty of his battles, to the detriment of myself.
I’m sure I’ll fight plenty more. I don’t want to disappoint him.
I don’t want to disappoint Tessa.
As usual, those two choices seem to be in opposition.
But just now, I can lie here and stare up at the ceiling, inhaling the faint scents of home, and I can put off my worries for a few minutes.
I don’t mean to sleep, but I do. When I wake, I’m in the same position as before, lying on the bed, staring into darkness, the boat rocking beneath me. For an instant, I have a moment of disoriented panic, because I can’t remember where I am. But awareness snaps into place quickly, and I sit up sharply, causing my brother’s jacket to pool in my lap. The oil lantern has burned out, and the room is cold. I have no idea what time it is, and it’s too dark to see my pocket watch.
It’s too dark to seeanything.
I do have the jacket, so I slip my arms into the sleeves and ease across the room in the darkness, shifting slowly with my hands out.
My shins slam right into a chest anyway, and I bite back a swear, then catch myself against the wall.
At least it helps me find the door.
I tug at the handle, then blink in the sudden light. Two lanterns hang in the corridor. Rocco was sitting cross-legged in the center of the aisle, but he’s on his feet before I’ve swung the door all the way open. An array of playing cards were laid out on the wooden boards, but they scatter a bit from his movement.
“Your Highness,” he says in surprise.
“Forgive me,” I say. “I’ve ruined your game.”
“It’s no trouble.”
My thoughts are still a bit wild and tumultuous, and I simultaneously feel wide awake and in desperate need for more sleep. It’s a feeling I remember well from my early morning runs with Tessa. I tug my watch free and glance at the face.
Half past three in the morning.
Sounds about right.
I look back at Rocco, then rub at my eyes. “You drew the night watch?”
“Kilbourne will relieve me at dawn.” His eyes flick down my form, and I realize that, aside from the jacket, I’m wearing the exact same clothes I wore when I boarded the ship—right down to my boots.
That makes me feel like a fool.
Doubly so when I glance across the hallway and see Tessa’s closed door.
I look back at Rocco, who’s studying me as if he’s wonderingwhether he would be within rights to suggest I go back to sleep. It’s quite possible I look hungover.
I wish I were. “Kilbourne said you walked the ship earlier,” I say.
“I did.”
I rub at my eyes again. “Give me ten minutes, Rocco. Then I’d like to hear what you’ve learned.”
“I … yes. Of course.”
I hesitate before turning back for my room. “And one of your lanterns, if you please.”
Once I close myself back in my quarters, I take less than ten minutes to feel more human. I didn’t expect indoor plumbing, but I’m pleased to find a private water closet, complete with a pitcher and basin for washing. I exchange my shirt for something less rumpled, hoping it will help me feel a bit less rumpled myself, but it doesn’t. I want to shove my brother’s jacket back down in the chest, because it really has no place here … but something about its presence is reassuring. It’s cold anyway. I buckle it into place.
I make my way back to the door and tug at the next chest, wondering what I’ll find. It’s very heavy, and I remember one of Blakemore’s men making a comment about how they weren’t getting much lighter. I snap the latches and flip the lid open.
Bottles glisten in the light. Wine and whiskey and rum and brandy—a whole assortment of liquors from the palace. There’s an opener, too.
