AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Wait,” he says quietly. “Please, Tessa.”
He said it last night, too, and I didn’t listen. I was too flushed. Too embarrassed. Too angry.
Today, I stop, and I look up. The prince’s eyes burn into mine, but his voice is low, even and formal. “We allowed Lochlan to come because Harristan believed it would be seen as a gesture of goodwill—and would also prevent him from organizing another rebellion in my absence.” He pauses. “So Lochlan is right that our invitation was not wholly altruistic. But I didnotbring him with the intention of killing him conveniently. Last night, I was apprehensive about the trip, about the captain’s motives, about my brother and his … Well.” He frowns and runs a hand back through his hair. “I saw Lochlan looming over you in the hallway, and my temper got the best of me. Forgive me. Please.”
It’s a good speech—and I believe every word. The apology is profound, because I know he means it.
But I can’t stop thinking of Rian’s voice in the wind this morning.Lochlan is one of his people, is he not?
Or the way Lochlan backed right down when he was allowed a moment of dignity, instead of rebelling against dark threats and armed guards. Even Kilbourne slammed him into the wall last night.
My thoughts don’t know where to settle, because I’ve found Lochlan pretty frightening myself. But I know what it’s like to be backed into a corner. Choices never seem likechoiceswhen the world only offers us bad ones. I once told the king that I would have been lighting the fires of revolution right alongside Lochlan if Ihadn’t found myself in the palace with Corrick. We stopped a war—but the feelings of disdain and scorn are still alive and well. Onbothsides.
“You need to find a way to get along with him,” I say.
“I’ve been perfectly cordial to the captain.”
“I’m talking aboutLochlan.”
“Why.” Corrick doesn’t even say it like a question.
“Because you dragged him onto a ship to get him out of the way. It’s no better than locking him in the Hold, Corrick. If you want to fix things in Kandala, you and your brother can’t keep putting your opponents inprison.”
He stares back at me, but I tug my arm free before he can say anything else. I have a patient to treat, and I need to get away from the intensity in his gaze. When we stand in the shadows, he reminds me too much of Weston Lark, who waskindandgoodand would never hurt a soul.
As usual, I need to remind myself that Weswasa part of the man in front of me. Thatgoodnessis inside him.
But it’s just a part.
Sometimes I worry that it’s not quite enough.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Corrick
When I was in the palace, it was nevereasyto be the King’s Justice, but I could count the minutes of my day, knowing eventually the clock hands would crawl toward the early morning hours when I could escape into the Wilds with Tessa.
Even once the ruse was over—because Tessa was in the palace and we were working toward a new solution—I could reassure myself that we were bringing about change. That things would be different. That we would worktogetherto make things better.
But as the days passed, true change began to feel slow and ineffective. Potentially impossible. Like that meeting that ended with Lochlan diving across a table at Consul Sallister. At least in the Wilds I could see medicine making a difference. As King’s Justice, I only saw my failures.
Now I’m on this ship, and with every censorious glance Tessa throws my way, I feel like more of a monster than I ever was.
She wants me to get along with Lochlan. He’s out on the deck, gutting fish with other men from the crew. The low sound of their voices hardly carries over the wind, but I can tell he’s found a place among them. There’s a part of me that envies the simplicity of it.
When I walk across the deck with Tessa, he stops talking, and his eyes follow me. He leans toward the man beside him, saying something too low for me to hear, then uses his knife to rip a fish in half.
No subtlety there. He wants me to have a reaction.
I ignore him.
The captain is in his stateroom with Gwyn and Sablo, but when Tessa and I enter with Kilbourne at our backs, it’s obvious that the room isn’t quite large enough to fit six people. The work table takes up a good deal of room, and the burning stove blocks a whole corner. I wouldn’t mind taking a look at the maps, but I can’t get close to the table. Tessa takes a stool to sit in front of Sablo, who’s holding a bandaged arm to his chest. He looks a bit alarmed at the sudden crowd.
Tessa glances up at the rest of us, but it feels more pointed when her eyes find me. “Maybe you all could give us some privacy.”
Fine. But I’m not being evicted by myself.
“Captain,” I say. “I understand you’ve offered my guardsman a tour of the ship. I wouldn’t mind the same.” I pause. “If you have the time.”
