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She sighed and turned to face him. “Max, I thought you needed to crunch some numbers in the back office. This bar has never been this tidy, so I know you’re not cleaning it right now.”
Max bit his lip and looked like he was mentally debating what to say. “You see, Claire,” he said, like he was oh-so-wise, “we could help each other out.” He gestured with his hand between the two of us. “I am supposed to report back to Grey, who is supposed to report back to you-know-who, about how you are currently feeling about you-know-who. And when you think about it, that could really help you out, ya know?”
I looked at him crossly. “If you-know-who wants to know what I’m thinking, then you-know-who should man up and ask me himself.”
“Exactly.” Paige crossed her arms over her chest and stared Max down ‘til he raised his hands in innocence and started making his way back to the office.
“I’ll let you girls talk!” Max called over his shoulder.
Paige let out a laugh as soon as he closed his office door. “These boys think they’re so smart, but they’re so obvious sometimes.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that as well. And… my heart kinda loved hearing how Duke was trying to check in on me. Maybe, just maybe, things would actually work tonight.
“I do understand why you were asking though,” Paige said while she cleaned wine glasses. “I know that if the guy I was interested in would be coming, it would greatly dictate my fashion choices for the evening.” She looked at me pointedly. “I’ve heard a little rumor that he’ll be coming around three with his sister’s family.” Paige smiled wryly. “Mind watching Frankie for a bit while I help Max out in the back?”
“No problem,” I said, ruffling Frankie’s hair. He was already busy digging into his pancakes. “Hey, Paige.” She paused and looked up. “Thank you,” I said, struggling to keep a straight face. I didn’t want to show how giddy I felt over knowing that Duke was going to be at the party.
She gave me a wink, then turned on her heel to head back to the office.
By the time I finished up my breakfast and called to Paige that I was going to head out soon, she was running to the front to say goodbye. I threw some cash on the bar to cover my breakfast and a nice tip for Paige before hopping down from the barstool.
When she reached the front, she handed me a hot chocolate over the bar. “For the road. It’s still kinda chilly this morning. And Claire, happy birthday,” she said with a smile.
“Thank you.” I felt my face heat up a bit. Birthdays were always weird because you never wanted to sit there and announce that it was your birthday to everyone you came across that day, but you did hope to be wished a happy birthday, and you really appreciated the people who took the time to do so.
As I walked out of Benny’s, I heard Frankie’s little voice yell, “Wait!”
I turned to see him running on his little legs after me. He had his bottom lip sucked in like he was really concentrating, and the front of his hair was blowing up in the air from the wind of his little speed.
I bent down to his level and caught him as he launched himself toward me for a hug. When he pulled back, he held up a scribbly drawing for me to see.
“It says,” he said authoritatively while pointing to the green scribbles, “happy birffday, Cwaire.” He was still having trouble pronouncing some of his letters, and his little raspy voice was adorable.
“Oh, I do see! Thank you, Frankie. It’s beautiful.” I smoothed his hair back before standing up. “I’m going to pin this to my fridge so everyone can see it.” He smiled proudly at that. “I’ll see you later at your house, okay?”
“Okay!” he said before running back into Benny’s.
I wistfully watched through the diner windows as Paige picked up Frankie and put him on her hip and talked to him as she continued putting things away. Max came running up behind them and exaggeratingly bulldozed into them for a bear hug. Paige threw her head back laughing. It was clear that she adored her little family.
And a little bit of jealousy pulled at my heart.
I wanted a family one day. I definitely did. But I also wanted to accomplish things in my skating career first, or else I knew I’d be thinking ‘what if’ for the rest of my life.What if I could’ve gotten another shot at Nationals during an Olympic year?I knew I was close… but I also knew I had a tight timeline. That’s why I needed to solidify a skating partner like yesterday. The 2026 Winter Olympics was my deadline. If I didn’t reach the Olympics by then, I never would. I’d be over the hill and tired, and I knew I couldn't skate forever. I needed to eventually start building my life outside the rink…
I pushed pause on my life goals for my skating ones. Skating was all consuming and required selfishness. I knew other people had very different priorities, and they were growing up and falling in love and I was potentially wasting all my time here. And because of that, I knew I most likely wouldn’t get the chance to be anyone’s first love… But I could still hope to be the love of someone’s life, couldn’t I? Besides, whoever wanted to marry me wouldn’t be my first love either…
Unless… that person was Duke.
Begrudgingly or not, I did fall in love with him all those years ago, and a part of my heart would always want him.
And maybe… Duke had been kind of right in a way. Maybe he had been right about leaving and not starting something with me all those years ago. He had big dreams to chase back then, and he reached his goals. I was still chasing mine.
I wished I could talk to my younger self… Because I had wanted a boyfriend sosobadly all those years ago. I jealously watched other girls get “chosen,” and I had a chip on my shoulder over being alone all the time. I had taken my alone time as a punishment. I figured I must’ve gone wrong somewhere. I hadn’t been outgoing enough or flirty enough or cute enough. But now, I was starting to think that maybe all that time alone was actually a gift. A gift of time to accomplish my goals…
And now that Duke and I were mature enough, and now that he had reached his goals and I was very very close to reaching mine, maybe this was our time. Maybe everything truly did happen for a reason, and things really would work out the way they were supposed to. We could finish the last stretch together… What if this time around, we could make it work?
That was a big if though.
And it stressed me out.
