Page 79 of Our Offseason


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“Yes. You’re staying there for her right?” he asked urgently.

“Yes. I’ll be waiting,” I told him.

“Thank you, Duke.”

The phone clicked off and I dropped my head into my hands.

This was all too much. The not knowing made it way past too much.

People in the waiting room probably thought I was overreacting, but I knew what it was like to lose someone before it was their time.

My whole body trembled as I thought of my buddy, my brother-in-law, Nick, and how he was taken too soon… how I stood at his funeral when he was only 26…

This. This was why I made myself stay away from serious relationships. Because it fucked with your head.

But… I always thought it would be me. I would be the one to dip or get hurt and hurt the other person… Because I always pictured myself as Nick, and I never ever wanted to hurt a girl the way Sav hurt after she lost him.

It never crossed my mind that I could be the one who lost the person they loved…

What if she hurt me?

No. I couldn’t think like that…

She’ll be fine, she’ll be fine, she’ll be fine.

Sometimes if I repeated things enough, I started to believe them. And I really needed to believe that she would be okay.

After researching on my phone, I realized appendix problems had timelines. Waiting too long could cause it to rupture… If I had only forced the issue with her when we were eating dinner, then maybe it wouldn’t have been this bad…

It was my fault. I wasn’t cut out for this.

I played NHL games, I played in an Olympics gold medal game, but I had never ever been this nervous.

I wrung my sweaty hands together. Maybe this was just a bad road to be playing with. I was testing the Callahan relationship luck.

And I needed to put a stop to it.

I needed to make sure she was alright and then slowly push her away… That would give me time to wrap my mind around saying goodbye.

She would have a fine life with someone else. Maybe they wouldn’t understand her the way I did– no, theycouldn’tunderstand her the way I did, because with us, it was like looking in a mirror, and that was rare. The way we thought, the way we communicated, the way we acted on impulse, and the way we loved… it was all the same with us.

But it was too good to be true.

Someone else, some kind of boring finance guy, would get a kick out of her. And that lucky guy would have fun trying to understand her.

It would be a sacrifice I’d make for the both of us.

Because we weretooin love honestly.

I didn’t think that could be a problem, but it definitely was.

Because I wouldn’t be able to function if anything happened to her.

I prayed that as long as she was alright, I’d stay away from her. And I begged that she’d be alright.

30.Duke

Three hours later, I was finally allowed back to see her.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com