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CHAPTER 3
RAEGAN
It’s been about a week since Evan asked me out and I now realize the pit which has formed in my gut is made up of guilt and regret. I feel guilty because I don’t think he intended for it to sound like a pity date. Now when I think back to it, I realize he had an excited sparkle in his eyes when he asked me. I think he was being sincere.
I regret not saying yes. I should have. I can’t deny that I’ve been checking the man out since he started coming into the bakery. Our éclairs are delicious, but I get the feeling those delicious morsels aren’t the main reason Evan has kept coming in.
I’ve been acting like the highest-level coward there is because I’ve been avoiding him for the last week. He’s come in, but I move so damn fast into the back whenever I see him pass by the windows that I really should think about signing up for a marathon.
I also can’t stand to stay out in the main part of the shop very much. My sisters have effectively thrown Christmas up all over the damn place. There are garlands dripping with tinsel, lights of all colors, more than one miniature tree, ornaments which look like they should be on a tree the size of the one in Rockefeller Center and even a Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer the size of a small dog.
It makes me cringe every time I’m out there.
Which is probably a large part of why I’m currently stirring the choux pastry like it did me dirty. I wanted to try a few more flavors tonight. Yes, holiday inspired ones. Maybe it’ll help me let a little more of the magic of the season into my heart.
I have my doubts, but it’s possible.
Knowing it looks like the North Pole exploded out there is not helping my mood. Neither is remembering the flash of disappointment in Evan’s eyes when I said no and ran away from him like Krampus was on my ass.
Justice saunters into the back with a sly grin on her face, one I’m going to do my best to ignore. My blatant disregard of her presence doesn’t stop her from propping her hip against the counter and staring at me. This is what I get for being the youngest—they always think I’m going to just roll over and give in.
They’re not wrong, but I’m not feeling up to falling into expectations of me at the moment. I’m all out of sorts.
“You keep avoiding Evan,” Justice drops the words between us without any warning.
I glance at her before making myself focus on the choux pastry. I shake my head, my voice defensive, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Justice scoffs. “You’re not fooling anyone, Rae.”
“I’m not trying to fool anyone,” I mumble, but by the way she laughs, I know she heard me.
“Okay, if you want to pretend you’re fooling anyone, so be it,” she says it flippantly, but I know she’s goading me.
I shouldn’t give into her. I shouldn’t let her know that she’s gotten under my skin. I’m weak.
“Whatever,” I scoff.
She makes a humming sound, but before she can say anything else, Bella comes bustling into the back. The look she shoots me holds pity. I try to ignore her and focus on the next step of getting this batch ready to fill with a custard I’m excited to test out.
“I’ve closed it down out there,” Bella’s voice fills the uncomfortable silence.
My head snaps up and I look at the clock before looking at my sisters. I arch an eyebrow. “Why? It’s not closing time yet.”
Bella huffs out a breath and rolls her eyes. “If you weren’t back here hiding out from Christmas and Evan,” she gives me a pointed look which has me looking back down, “then you’d know the snow is starting to come down hard.”
I gasp and whirl around to look at them. “It is? I thought the storm wasn’t going to hit for a few more hours.”
Justice shrugs one shoulder and kicks off where she’s leaning on the counter. “There are still some hours before it’s supposed to get really bad, but it’s clear people are starting to batten down the hatches.”
I nod absently and look at everything I have pulled out to make this batch to test. I don’t want to leave it. Not now. I want to finish this; I need my mind to go blank and for things to make sense to me.
I’ve been too damn jumbled up with thoughts of Evan lately. I might keep running from him, but it doesn’t mean I can’t see his spruce green eyes staring back at me when I close my eyes. I may have even had a dream about him wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don’t think that’s the reason for the season, but, then again, what do I know?
“I’m not ready to leave yet,” I inform my sisters.
They nod and share a look. “We’re going to head out. Just lock up and don’t stay long.” Bella waves her hand before adding, “You’ll still be fine.”
