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The worst part of it all was that the day wasn’t going to go anywhere. Kate had nothing but time on her hands now. The day wasn’t going to vanish by burying herself in her work. She didn’t have any work. It had been taken away from her.
The only things she could do all day were to lie on her back and stare at the ceiling. How much fun was that, honestly? She couldn’t pleasure herself anymore. She’d already rammed herself raw. There was no way she was going to be able to go down there again. She was going to make herself chafe otherwise.
Kate rolled onto her side and huffed heavily, wondering what she was going to do with her day. Sit around? Watch bad TV? Eat her body weight in chocolate and bread?
It all sounded so foreign to her. Ever since her ex-husband had left her, she’d morphed into a strong, powerful woman that didn’t let anything get in her way. This whole not-being-allowed-to-work thing felt an awful lot like bullcrap to her.
Kate threw back the covers and stared around at her white room. She’d demanded that everything be white. The furniture, the walls, the ceiling, the carpet. Now that she saw it in the cold light of day, she knew that it was too sterile. What had she been thinking?
I was thinking that I never spent serious time in here, Kate thought.Why would I want this room to have character if I never spent time in it? I just wanted it to look clean.
The last time Kate had spent this much time in her bedroom was a couple of years ago when she got the flu. Even then she didn’t care what the room looked like. She just wanted out. But now she had time to sit and think about her choices. And the only thing she could think was that this choice was wrong.
Kate wasn’t the type of woman to sit around and mope. She knew she had to get up and start her day, even if she had nothing planned. She pulled her laptop out of her bedside table and opened it up quickly. Once her history was cleared, she closed the lid and went to her closet.
She didn’t bother to search for something cute. When her hands found the softest, comfiest clothes she had, she shuffled her body into them and stuffed her laptop beneath her arm.
Claire was still in the kitchen, sorting out her breakfast and lunch for the day. Kate didn’t feel like talking to anyone but she knew she had to step up and be a good mother. She’d been absent for a lot of Claire’s life—it was the least she could do.
“Good morning,” Kate said dully as she came into the kitchen.
Claire looked over her shoulder as she reached into the cupboards above her. “Hey, mom,” she said. “How you doin’?”
“Fine,” Kate sighed.
She set the laptop on the breakfast bar and sat in front of it, her tired eyes feeling droopy as she opened the computer up.
“How’s school?” Kate asked, sounding completely uninterested, even to herself.
“Fine,” Claire said, pausing for a second. “Are you going to tell me the truth?”
She placed her bowl on the marble countertop between them and stared at Kate’s face. There was no bluffing Claire. She had this skill—she could see past anyone’s charades, even if she’d just met them. Kate wanted to know where her daughter had picked up this incredible ability but she’d never been able to figure out how she had come to acquire it. Kate resigned herself to the fact that her daughter was just a genius and she’d never have that level of intelligence.
“Work stuff,” Kate sighed. “It’s nothing.”
She tried to smile but it failed. It didn’t reach her eyes. Hell, it didn’t even reach her cheeks. The edges of her lips curled upwards awkwardly.
“Mom,” Claire sighed. “Are you still whining about that?”
Kate stared at her daughter, shocked.
“Most people would kill for some time off,” Claire said. “Why don’t you stop moping and start enjoying yourself?”
Kate looked down at her laptop in front of her, the cursor hovering over her email client. She knew Claire was right. Totally and completely right. But that didn’t make it any easier for Kate. She needed to work. It was a part of her personality, a vital part of her identity. Without her job… who was she?
No, Kate thought quickly.Don’t pull at that thread. Distract yourself.
Kate smiled again, this time making it a little more convincing. “You’re right,” she said. “I’m too in my head. I need to enjoy this time while I have it.”
“Right,” Claire smiled. “And, while you’re enjoying your time, you should totally bring me with you.”
Kate eyed her daughter carefully. Now she understood why she cared so much. It wasn’t that she was worried about her stressed-out mother. Oh, no. Her cheeky teenage mind was looking for a way to get a free vacation during the school year.
“I don’t think so,” Kate chuckled. “I think you need to concentrate on your studies.”
“Oh, come on,” Claire moaned, grinning from ear to ear. “We could both use a vacation. Somewhere hot. Somewhere with plenty of sunshine.”
Kate could have rolled her eyes into the back of her head. It was so obvious now. So clear what her daughter so desperately craved.
