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I nod, the memory of our last text conversation coming back and making my cheeks flush. “Yeah, I’m—I’m okay. Thanks.”
His hazel eyes hold mine for a second, and I’m struck all over again by how handsome he is, leanly muscular, with dark stubble on his jaw that makes me ache to run my hands over it as I pull him in for a kiss.
I’ve never been kissed before, and I want it so badly to be him.
But after that conversation, I feel very sure it won’t be. And I feel guilty for pushing the issue at all. “Look, Max—” I take a hesitant step forward towards him, and another, until there’s only maybe an arm’s length between us. “About the other night—”
“We don’t have to talk about it.” His eyes crinkle at the corners, as if he’s trying to reassure me.
“I didn’t mean to upset you.” I bite my lip, feeling the anxiety rise up all over again. “I was drinking, and—”
“Sasha.” He steps closer to me, and I feel my heart leap into my throat, the scent of his cologne washing over me and blotting out the briny scent of the docks. “It’s alright. We don’t have to talk about it—”
“I don’t want to lose you.” The words burst out of me before I can stop them, as I stand there facing him. Unwittingly, I move closer, my hands tightening into fists at my sides again. “I—”
“Sasha—”
When he says my name this time, it’s not the same. It comes out almost like a plea, a prayer, and I can feel him leaning towards me, as if he feels the same need, the same yearning I do. For a moment, I think he’s going to reach for me and kiss me, but just as I feel him swaying closer, he jerks back, his jaw tightening.
“Are you staying out here much longer?” He nods towards the docks. “If not, I can give you a ride home or walk you back to the driver—”
I feel that swoop of disappointment in my gut again and the faint sting of what feels like rejection, but I try to shrug it off. “I sent the driver back—I didn’t know how long I’d be, and I figured I could call him when I was done.”
“Let me give you a ride back, then.” Max gives me an affable smile, as if he’s trying to soften things between us.
“The other night—”
“We don’t have to worry about it, Sasha,” he says gently, and I know he’s giving me an out, a chance to pretend like it didn’t happen.
The problem is, I don’twantan out. I want him.
“A ride home sounds nice.” I smile up at him, trying to push those thoughts aside. “Thank you.”
“Are you ready to go?” He pauses, giving me a chance to say I need more time, but I don’t. Whatever this place could settle for me, I think it’s already done. Staying isn’t going to make it better.
I nod. “Yeah, I think I am.”
“Alright then. I’m parked a few blocks down.”
We start to walk in companionable silence, and I’m struck by the fact that even when things should be on edge between us, we still feel comfortable together. I feelrightwith him, and I can’t help but think he must feel it too.If he doesn’t, then why does he keep coming to find me?It’s not as if he has any obligation to take care of me or protect me. Even our friendship doesn’t mean he has to keep me safe in the way he always seems to.
I’m so lost in thought that I don’t see the movement in the alley until it’s too late. Max is turned away, unlocking his car just in front of us, when a hand suddenly closes around my arm, fingers digging into my flesh.
I only have one second to scream his name before I’m dragged backwards into the darkness of the alley.
“Max!”
12
SASHA
Ihear the footsteps coming towards me as I’m dragged to the back of the alley. All I can smell is garbage, dirty water, and piss, and I close my eyes in a desperate prayer as my kidnapper tries to get me away before Max can catch up to us.
This is not where I want to die—
“Get your filthy fucking hands off of her!” Max’s voice is very close, and my heart stutters in my chest at the sound of the rough fury in it, something I’ve never heard from him before. “Don’tfuckingtouch her—”
I feel myself slung sideways as something grabs my attacker—Max, probably, but I don’t get a good look at first as I stumble into the alley wall, foot slipping on wet garbage and nearly taking me down. I grab onto the wall, stomach roiling at the damp feel of it, but as I look up and try to breathe past my racing heart, I see something I’ve never seen before.
