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“You sure can put away a lot of food for such a skinny girl. Impressive.” He grins as if it were a compliment, and suddenly I can’t wait for the date to be over.
Maybe I really will try to get out of that second date.But even as I think it, I can hear what everyone else will say.
He was just nervous. Give him a chance. Maybe the second date will be better.
I don’t retain much of the conversation after that, as Nick pays for the bill before I can offer and waits for me while I reach for my phone. “I just need to text my driver,” I explain as we walk downstairs, and he whistles.
“Fancy,” he says with a grin. “I’ll wait with you.”
I wish he wouldn’t, especially since I can imagine what he’s waitingfor, but I don’t really have the nerve to tell him no. Instead, I wait until I see the car pull up outside, and Nick walks with me to where the driver is holding open the door for me.
“See you next week?” he asks, and I nod, certain now that I won’t be able to get out of it. I see him start to lean in for a kiss, and hurriedly duck towards the car, sliding in with a smile.
“See you later,” I manage. “Thank you for the evening.”
I don’t want to see his expression as the car pulls away, but I also don’t really care. I lean my head back against the leather seat, feeling as if I’m fighting back the tears.
If this was supposed to show me what my real feelings for Max are, it’s accomplished that. All it’s shown me is how genuinely kind, caring, good, and respectful Max is, and how much I really do want him. How much I care for him–have grown to care for him more and more, over the year we’ve known each other.
It was supposed to make things better, but as the car pulls out into traffic to take me home, all I can think is that everything feels so much worse.
17
SASHA
I’m dreading breakfast in the morning because I know exactly what the topic of conversation is going to be about. Even worse is that when I walk down, tired with circles under my eyes from not sleeping well, hair thrown up in a messy bun, and wearing joggers and a t-shirt, Max is sitting at the table.
Fuck. This really fucking sucks.
“Sasha!” Caterina looks up from spooning scrambled eggs onto a plate for Yelena, a knowing smile plastered on her face. “How was your date?”
Max’s gaze shoots straight to me, and I feel a flush creeping up my neck to my cheeks. “It was fine,” I mumble, sitting down next to Anika. I feel his eyes on me, and I swallow hard, looking up at Caterina. “Actually, no. It sucked. But somehow, I agreed to a second date without meaning to.”
Caterina looks at me sympathetically. “Really? What happened?”
I sigh, reaching to fill my own plate from the food in the center of the table. “He had a lot of comments about my appearance, talked about how much money he made, suggested I should be a model, and then talked about how jealous his buddies would be if he dated a model. And he seemed really into my accent.”
“I like your accent!” Anika pipes up, and I smile at her.
“Thanks, buddy,” I tell her, ruffling her hair. “I like it too. Just not when weird guys comment on it.”
“He doesn’t sound much different from a lot of the men in my circle,” Viktor says, and Caterina shoots him alook.
“Which is exactly why Sasha isn’t dating any of them,” she says sweetly. “They’re not her type.”
He chuckles. “Well, that’s fair. They do tend to come on a little strong–like Adrik the other night.”
I wince at that particular memory, still trying to avoid looking at Max.
“What is this second date you’re supposed to go on?” Caterina asks curiously.
“To the orchestra.” I put a piece of toast on Anika’s plate. “He wasveryimpressed that I know Sofia.”
“Well, maybe that date will be better,” Caterina says encouragingly. “Maybe he was just nervous. I know–Sofia and I are going out shopping tomorrow. Come with us, and find something new for the date. That will be fun, at least!”
There it is.I force a smile, nodding, and focus on my breakfast, hoping the subject will turn to other things. It does, and I hope that Max leaves before I’m left alone with him. The last thing I want to talk about after not speaking for a week is my date with another man.
Of course, that’s not how it works out. It seems almost as if he hangs back on purpose after Viktor leaves and Caterina ushers the children out. I stand up, finally forcing myself to look at him as he stands awkwardly by the door.
